Wow

August has been some month for me and this blog.

I hadn't realized until this month that I've had this blog for over three years. I've had much to say but never used my blog to say it. Writing in this blog has helped me in so many ways.

It made me realize that I've changed so much since my last relationship. All my obsessing I've done on this blog and haven't bogged my friends down with the same shit different day. I'm still sad but less and less I'm trying to block those feelings. I've accepted the fact that I'm supposed to be sad. The only debate now in my mind is how long will I allow myself to be sad. Personally I think it should only be for another month or two.

What I love about my blog is I don't proofread it. I just free write. If I start to heavily proofread this blog it won't be real. I am not submitting this to another professional for consideration of a job or even presenting this for a grade in school. This is just the time I need to get out how I feel.

The funny thing about a blog or anything that is in print is you can really check yourself and how you feel. I can't believe I said this. I clearly don't believe that anymore.

And look at this. If I still believed that it wouldn't have set off the frenzy of entries this month.


School is going to start on Tuesday I have so many of the same expectations that I have every semester. The biggest change will be in my living situation. I hope to be out on my own again. Well not entirely on my own. I spent five years living in someone elses house which sometimes was like living at home with more bills. The big difference between now and when I was 19 is after I leave my house sharing dwelling I want it to be in a place I own.

How ironic. I didn't realize it until a second ago that it was 10 years ago this month is when i first left and now I hope to leave again. The only thing that has kept me here or made me return is this need I have to take care of my mom. Why not? She has taken care of me all these years. But now I am taking care of her at the expense of my happiness.

I may edit this post and add to it at a later time but never delete. That defeats the purpose. If I wrote it that means I felt it and you shouldn't hide from that.


School will start soon and I don't place any expectations with this blog for the next few months. We shall see what happens.