Last Post of 08

Well what can I say.

I actually committed to this blog. There was a lot that I wrote about and quite a bit I left out. When I was really sad around the holidays I only really hinted around those feelings around my Dad's birthday. I have an hour till the movie starts so I guess I better get to work on the last post of the year.

January - July
An interesting few months. Didn't write a damn thing but I remember one thing from the time in my life. I decided in February that I didn't want to be single anymore and I was going to try online dating. So I put up a profile on match.com. There were a few guys that I talked to and the one I ignored for a month. Like always the one I liked for a month became my boyfriend for three months and I fell for him hard. Those three months I felt a peace that I haven't felt in quite sometime. I had problems but they didn't seem so bad. Then my day it was over and I still don't think I'm right. During this time my relationship with my mother became further strained because of her "friend". I know in my heart if I continued to live here my relationship with my mom would have beyond repair. Now I miss her when I don't speak to her or see her. Sometimes distance is the only thing that can help a relationship.

August
I had a lot of emotions this month I cried, and cried, and cried. We said goodbye to two great men and real change started to come.

September
I decided to get help this month. The financial kind. Lynette gave me an early Christmas present she said I can be OK with what I have. I'm still working on the plan she set up for me but Rome was not built in a day and I will not be financially responsible overnight but 09 is coming and change is coming. So the search became a reality

October
I got the place and school was kicking my but this month so I didn't write much. I must say during this time I was doing very well.

November
My life changed in November in so many ways. I moved out, I voted and with one election I was forever changed. The election changed me not because of its historical importance but changed me because I truly feel that "Yes We Can". I recall the day I cast my vote and how I held back the tears after I pulled the lever. I cried because I never thought I would live to see the day and I cried for all the people who are gone who would have been overjoyed by this election. President elect Barack Obama changed me. He showed me a man of character and integrity. When I have kids I want them to know about this man. After the election I watched all the television shows and the pundits especially the ones the marched with Dr. King. Vernon Jordan, Andrew Young and many others. All of them said to the President elect run for President but not now. America is not ready for a black first family. I felt the same way to where I ardently supported Senator (soon to be Secretary of State) Hillary Clinton. I'm sure everyone told this man the same thing. But he had a dream that became a dream fulfilled for so many people. My kids are going to know that you can do what ever you want no matter who tells you can't. I will sing the praise of our President for the rest of my life, no matter what his presidency brings us.

December
This month I was sad. It's the holidays and unfortunately its a scathing reminder of all you've lost. This month is no longer about giving and the birth of Christ. It's about staying in the black, posting big sales and restoring consumer confidence. I learned first hand what people will do for a material object. I pray for the family that is mourning a loss New Year's Eve and the life gone too soon. December I realized I want to be alone and need to be alone but I hate feeling lonely.

This is a much shorter year in review than I wanted but that is okay. Next year I hope to continue to write and get my emotions out in a healthy way. Even though I shared a lot on this blog I'm glad I did it because writing kept me from doing something stupid. I'm going to be 30 next year and I'm going to celebrate. Not because it's 30 and its considered a milestone birthday. I'm going to celebrate for all the people who will never get to celebrate a 30th birthday. Hopefully some of the personal changes I want for myself will at least start to come true.

Well I better get dressed for the movie. Brad Pitt here I come.