Happy Birthday Daddy

First I would like to say this. I came home tonight to spend time with my family because it is my father's birthday and my Mom said she wanted me home. I came home to an empty house. I'm not saying my family should sit in a room all day and cry but damn stop acting like you need me so much. My brother doesn't think of these things. He generally doesn't think of anyone but himself but he has always been like that so the fact that he is not home does not surprise me. My Mom had her chapter meeting tonight which she said was going to be short. It was supposed to start at 7:00 and it's 8:59. I know better. I have my own chapter meeting tomorrow night and I know they are never short.

My Dad would have been 68 today if he were still alive. (I often wonder how long will I continue to do that. For example will I say in 40 years Dad would have been 108 today) My Auntie Len would have called today to wish him Happy Birthday and they would have talked and laughed and it would have filled the room. I will never forget the day I came home 5 years ago and my mom told me my Auntie Len was dead. I will never forget the fact that she called me a few weeks before and I said I would call her over the holidays. I would have loved to know what she wanted to say to me but I guess I never will.

My Auntie Len wanted me to move to Baton Rouge and live with her while I attended college. I wish I had the strength and the courage to make such a bold move. She would have treated my 19 year old irresponsible self as a child. I would have had a curfew but probably had the flyest gpa coming. She would have probably married me off by now and I would have popped out three or four kids like Franka did. She would have baby sat and would given my children all the love one can possibly give. She was that kind of lady. If I lived in the South my father would have probably came to stay with me for months at a time. He would have loved my kids too. He was that kind of guy.

Today I think of two people that I lost that were so dear to me. I know they will never know my children and my children won't know how wonderful they were.

Stephanie Mills Home

When I think of homeI think of a resting place

A place where theres peace, quiet, and serenity

And thats where some of my friends have gone

Friends who have traveled with me through my wonderful experience in Oz

A journey Ill never forget

When I think of home, I think of a place

Wheres theres love overflowing

I wish I was home, I wish I was back there

With the things Ive been knowing

Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning

Suddenly the raindrops that fall they have a meaning

Sprinklin the scene

Makes it all clean(When I think of home)

Maybe theres a chance for me to go back

Now that I have some direction(Maybe theres a chance Ill get home)

It sure would be nice to be back at home

Where theres love and affection

And just maybe I can convince time to slow up

Givin me enough time, ooh, in my life to grow up

Time be my friend

And let me start again

Suddenly my worlds gone and change its fate

And I still know where Im going

I have had my mind spun round in space

And watched it growing

And oh, if youre listening, God, please dont make it hard

To know if we should believe the things that we see

Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away (Should we run away)

Or will it be better just to let things, let them be, oh

Livin here in this brand new world

Might be a fantasy

But its taught me to love, oh, yeah

And its real, its so real, its real to me

And Ive learned that we must look

Inside our hearts to find

A world full of love

Like yours, like mine

Like home

Like, like home(When I think of home)

My friends smilin down on me

Givin me their energy, oh(When I think of home)I think of a peaceful world and joy

All around me, yeah(When I think of home)And love that we share can never

Never, ever be taken away from me, yeah, yeah, yeah(When I think of home)I just sit down and think

And gets on down in my bone, bone, yeah(When I think of home)I can hear my friends tellin me

Stephanie, please sing my song

I wanna sing, I wanna shout

I wanna tell you what its all about