New Year's Revelations

Hello Blog,

I waited a few days to write the new year. I spent most of the first few days of the year watching Law and Order SVU. I wanted to pay careful attention to what I wrote and this time of year its hard to think of anything else but resolutions. We are bombarded with advertisements of get out of debt, weight loss and exercise. It's quite comical to me that we accept this bombardment as good ole fashioned capitalism but to me it is "profiting off of someones pain".

I say profit off of pain because these people bank on the fact that the new year brings up the same insecurities they had the year before. New Year is supposed to be a fresh start and it is for some. Some people take January 1 and make a fresh start. I decided to take a look at myself and thought, "Am I really that bad off".

I call this my New Year's Revelation. I'm not exactly where I want to be or where I thought I would be but I'm far from the bottom. I thought to myself the following:

I wanted a better job and a good education. I could have worked closer to home but I chose to work at the place that would educate me the best. I wanted better so I went back to school. Not easy for some.

Since I first walked into Andrea Hill's home now over 15 years ago I was introduced to Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.. When I first arrived in Albany I was not mentally ready for the journey I needed to take to get there. Eight years later...well your never fully ready for that journey but I saw the opportunity and took it. I just wish Andrea was alive to see it.

Now for the last revelation I had (well it wasn't the only one but you get the point). For many years I've always said I need to live on my own. I never wanted to go from my mother's house to the home I would make a family in with my husband (whomever he may be). I wanted to get my finances together and slowly but surely they are because of the help I sought from a financial advisor. My apartment maybe small but I can afford my rent and it's just me.

Now for the things I wish to accomplish. Because of facebook I was reminded of the person I used to be. I was actually healthy. I have never been this size in my life and the people in my life that love me worry for me. I see the drawbacks to being overweight and I don't want to live my life with constant health issues. I have to work on that.

I would love to have a baby. This is not a goal because it's not going to happen this year but I just want the record to show if I had it my way I would have a baby by now. Possibly working on #2. Now this baby fantasy includes a husband as much as I want a baby I don't want to raise him/her on my own.

I wish the focus was not so much on personal change for the new year. We all know you will never really change if you feel defeated when you begin. When you start any program with such high expectations you just set yourself up for failure. I hope to continue to write this year and use my blog as a tool to help me accomplish my goals.