We Fall Down but We Get Up Revisted

I maybe brief because the man of the hour, day, month, year, decade, century is about to take the stage.

I had to speak on Hillary Rodham Clinton. Please leave this woman alone. I am not even speaking to the press on this one. On facebook and okayplayer I've seen men write some very disparaging remarks about her that she is pushing her own agenda and how her speech at the convention was just a platform for Hillary 2012. So what if it was?

I don't know too many people like her. This woman has faced political, personal and professionally problems and keeps going. My only hope for her is the constant fighting doesn't make her bitter. I would hate to see her in 20 years sounding like Geraldine Ferraro.

She came to the stage and humbly supported Senator Obama. She cast the final unanimous vote securing history.

If it were Hillary about to walk on that stage tonight I wouldn't be upset. We could do worse.

We Fall Down but We Get Up

From the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Suits... (c) Hillary Rodham Clinton

I have so much to say about Hillary. I will have to leave it for another night or the weekend. I hadn't planned on watching Day 2 of the convention but I had to. I am going to watch it again and comment at a later time.

Mrs. Michelle Obama

I just watched the first day of the Democratic National Convention and I am overcome. I am going to try to keep this post positive and not criticize Cindy McCain. It is important to me to develop my critical thinking skills. Apart of that is to have a good understanding of both of our potential first ladies before I pass negative criticism on either one.

I remember Primary day like it was yesterday. My Uncle Richard and Auntie Kathleen were visiting from North Carolina and we all came up with many reasons why Hillary Clinton was going to be our next Democratic National Candidate for President. So I decided that the next day I was going to cast my vote for Hillary Clinton.

The next day when I went to vote I stood in the poll both frozen in my shoes for a moment. I knew what I came to do but for some reason I couldn't do it. I wanted to vote for Hillary but my hand wouldn't leave the side of my body to pull the lever. Then I changed my mind. As soon as I had it my head to vote for Barack Obama I regained my composure and cast my vote.

Ever since then I have just received confirmation after confirmation from the Obama Family that I made the right choice that day.

If someone from another country asked me the roles and responsibilities of a first lady I wouldn't have much to say. After watching Michelle Obama give her speech I know what a first lady is because it is her. She is the woman that I've always known. She is the woman that was portrayed for so many years by Phylicia Rashad. on the Cosby Show. She is the woman I aspire to be. With Michelle as first lady, I feel we will have less little black girls dancing half naked in a music video. When you listen to Mrs. Obama you cannot help but want to be better and do better, for yourself and your community.

Barack and Michelle Obama know America. I feel they know America more than I do. They know it because they have walked all forms of the dream. They both grew up in working class homes and worked their way up. Even though they were able to provide their daughters with a comfortable lifestyle I feel they will never allow them to forget to give to other people in life.

To all the people who criticize Michelle Obama for saying for the first time she was proud to be an American was now just doesn't understand. They don't understand a country that you worked hard for. It is a country that tells you all you need is hard work and education and when you do that it still kicks you in the teeth. The people who criticize Mrs. Obama does not know how it feels to be treated as a second class citizen.

Mrs Obama will be a great first lady because yes she has been yes she will be.

I Just Miss You...

Molly Ringwald

Teen cheesy 80's movie drama queen. I remember a scene from the movie For Keeps. I believe at the end of the movie she runs to her boyfriend with baby in hand and even though they are broken up and she tells him to go back to college he comes back to her.

Most 80's movies ended that way. With some sort of dramatic end.

What I did last week may qualify as an end to an 80's movie. I put the final nail in the coffin when I decided to rid myself of all physical evidence of my past relationship. I kept looking at the card he brought me for my birthday. It wasn't a grand declaration of love nor was it a .99 happy birthday card either. It was just right and it looked like he spent some time picking it out. I couldn't look at it anymore and not wonder what happened. What did I do to make everything change or was it me at all.

I decided to throw the card away because I couldn't look at it anymore and continue to analyze it. It was the best thing to do.

What I couldn't throw away the picture but I couldn't look at it either. I had made him two cds before we broke up. One of them was fast music for his car. The other CD was slow music for the both of us to listen to. I didn't send him the slow one but I still wanted him to have the CD with the fast songs. It was a CD of lesser known R&B singers that I thought he would like. So last week I mailed him the CD and the picture we took the night we went out for my birthday. I was going to write him a goodbye letter but decided a quick note on a post will do. So I mailed it. And I never expected a response. But today he responded via text.

He said hi and thanks for the CD. He also reminded me that he was going to Florida this Friday. I miss him terribly and didn't need to see that text message. He said thanks for the CD but nothing about the picture. I wonder if he kept it.

Racquel said to me yesterday if I thought we would ever get back together. I've thought about it but I know that wouldn't be a good thing. How can I be with a man that only wants to be apart of my life that is good. How can you be with someone that doesn't want to share the good times either? Besides if he really wanted me back he would have never started his match.com profile again. He has moved on and so do I.

But I still miss him. I guess that is to be expected now.

More Monday Fuckery

I was such a huge Jodeci fan when I was 12 years old. They replaced New Edition in my heart for a while. Anyone that knows me knows how in love I am with New Edition so that was not an easy feat.

What happened?

Now we heard Kci's explanation and I guess that makes sense but why continue to sing. Your brother just passed out and is laid out on the stage. I think the playback of all my life would have been sufficient in place of your singing and hollering Kci.

Maybe that is just my opinion.

What Kind of Fuckery is This?

There is so much fuckery going on the Internet I had to write about it (Thank you Amy for the Term). Its still early in the day and I don't think I will go out for a walk because it looks like it is going to rain. But I actually saw today's first fuckery on Okayplayer a few days ago. The more I read it the more sad I get because most women are deeply insecure. That is the only explanation for dealing with this bullshit.



Now in this equation who is the biggest asshole:



The Wife?





The Jumpoff?






The Other Jumpoff

It's a coin's toss on that one. Read the following excerpt from Faith's autobiography Keep The Faith. You will see my two cents in red.

I don’t know what got into my head. But I decided that I needed to know once and for all what Big was really trying to do. On that night before Christmas, I drove to Big’s house on a mission to find out where I really stood. (I know she had something better to do on Christmas Eve like spend time with her kids)

The security guard at the gate just waved me in when I pulled up. It was Christmas Eve and she’d seen me come into the complex with the kids, so I guess she didn’t think anything of it. I parked in the rear of Big’s town house and walked up to the garage. It was locked. I hadn’t been over to Big’s house a whole lot but I did know that you jiggle the garage door a certain way and unlock it.

I got into the garage, where there was an elevator that would take me to both floors of Big’s duplex. There I was, rocking a black skully cap and a heavy goose-down jacket, tiptoeing into the elevator and pressing the button to go up to the second floor, where his bedroom was located. I got to Big’s bedroom door, turned the knob, and went inside. As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, (No disrespect to the dead but I'm really trying to figure out how they had sex. At that time Kim was actually still petite. I loved Biggie the rapper just like the next 10th grader but fuckin him is a whole other animal.*no pun intended*) I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick our of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick’s wig came off in my hand; It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room.

“So you not fucking her, right?” I screamed at Big. “Yeah, you not messing with her anymore,right?”
When they heard all the commotion, Cease, D-Roc, and Gutter came running into the room. ‘Oh shit!” they yelled in unison. “It’s Faye! How the hell she get in here?”
Big sat up in bed and pointed at Kim, who was standing in a corner of the room, trying to cover her naked body with her hands while I was still yelling at Big. “Yo, get her outta here,’ Big said. They led Kim out of the room and she screamed and cursed the whole way. (Come on Kim, do you have an ounce of pride. I don't know if I could face Cease, D-Roc and Gutter after being led out of a room naked by them.)

It was absolutely crazy in that house. Kim was naked and being led somewhere to get dressed. I was still screaming on Big. Damion, Cease, and Gutter were laughing in amazement that I would be so bold. And Big looked like he was just too through with all of us. He sat up in bed shaking his head. Kim left the house and I stayed, talking to Big about why he couldn’t be honest with me about her.

‘I thought it was all about Tiffany?” (Insert the next jumpoff here) I asked. You still messing with Kim, too?” Big had nothing to say. I have to say I actually felt some pity for Kim. Big had a wife, and she settled for messing with him. Then he started dating Tiffany and Big had a wife and a mistress. And Kim still settled for being other other woman. It seemed pretty sad to settle for that. (Don't get me wrong people Kim is an asshole and Faith is right about that but who are you to call anyone out for being a mistress? I don't know what their plans were when Biggie was murdered but legally they were still married and Faith was having his baby. Faith you were pretty sad too)

When I left a few hours later to get the kids, I noticed that Kim had taken my key to my Land Cruiser and scratched up my entire car, from the hood to the back bumper. (She would have got another beatdown for that)

Even though we ended up having sex that day, at that point I decided I was 100 percent through. I was not going to be a ride or die chick, always going to lengths to show Big how I felt. I was the mother of his child and his wife. But I was going to have to let go.


When I saw that last name I wanted to scream. I couldn't believe that after all of that she still slept with him anyway. Even if that did happen I would have conveniently left that part of the book. It's not like Big is going to come from the dead and say, "After all of that she fucked me anyway." Who would have known?

But then Dick will make you slap somebody I can sympathize slightly. But there is no man that will make me lose that much self respect for myself.

Get Well Raphael

People Use Religion to deal with or explain bad things away that are happening in life.

I said that to Raphael tonight and he said that statement makes a lot of sense. I don't know if I said it exactly like that.

Raphael was in a pretty bad car accident a few weeks ago. We are going to pray for a speedy recovery.

It is a blessing in disguise I didn't have a blog around a certain time in my life. That is all I'm going to say about that.

Rebound

The definition from Merriam-Webster.

Main Entry:
1re·bound
Function:
verb

intransitive verb1 a: to spring back on or as if on collision or impact with another body b: to recover from setback or frustration

When I think of the word rebound these days I do with another connotation and I am writing about it because I finally understand the concept.

I used to think of rebound from a previous relationship is latching on to the first person you see to scratch that physical itch. That desire to be touched. The desire to have that feeling back. That feeling of familiarity. One of the best things about sex with my ex was after we were done knowing that he was the only person I was sharing that part of myself with. Sex with a person that you are in a relationship with is so much better than just having a one night stand. You can't obtain that level of intimacy with a person you must met.

That is but one small part of rebound. Rebound is jumping into another relationship because in the back of your mind you think that this new person is going to take the pain away of your last break up. But what happens is you figure out you are still feeling the last guy and being with someone new is just a painful reminder that you are no longer with the one you are rebounding from.

Now a completely innocent person is hurt because you didn't give yourself time to heal.

I think we need to as Colombini famously puts it "retrain your brain". I feel Merriam and Webster are right when they say rebound is about recovery. When you date on the rebound that is nothing more than setback.

Current Mood: Positive

Today was a positive day. I'm trying to keep that the mood of the day. Something bad happened to my mom but I'm still trying to stay positive. Today the Three Brothers Foundation held their annual Be a Mentor for a Day program. Today we met at Plainfield High School and we had the opportunity to serve as mentors for a day for children ages 10 - 18. Unfortunately Google maps screwed me and took me on a nice tour of Jersey and I was late. I got there anyway and I say better late than never.

I missed the networking and mentor presentation but I am still very happy to have the experience. I had the opportunity to mentor one little 9 year old girl who wanted to be a science teacher. She didn't have much to say. I think her mother forced her to come to the event.

Today's event did my heart well. I am so glad to see evidence of what I already know. I know that Black people aren't dumb or lazy. I will never forget as a child some of the things that teachers said to me. Teachers fail to realize sometimes the impact they have on a child especially with the things they say. Some teachers believe in stereotypes and they believe in them so much they pass them off to others as truth.

Where would these three individuals who made a pact to become doctors be today if not for people helping them and encouraging them? How many future doctors do we lose to the streets and violence because no one cares enough to give them the love and direction that they need.

It warmed my heart today to see that they were more mentors than mentees present at the event. I am glad that there are other people who see the need to help and that see the problems that need to be addressed. The sad part was there were about 30 kids that signed in but did not stay long enough to be mentored.

It pleased me to see so many parents sitting with their children. I saw a lot of loving faces today and kids that will be okay because of the parents they have.

I want to say thank you to the doctors. It doesn't take much. You can't always do it all but you should definitely do what you can.

New Wave of Reality Shows

With every new season I wonder when will Season One of the Running Man is going to begin. If you think about what could be next. They have a reality show for everything and everyone seems to have one. It's no longer interesting. I miss tv shows with actors, actresses and bad plots.

But I digress, even though I miss the tv shows I do enjoy a reality show or two. And this season I think I will be looking at


Luke's Parental Advisory
The Cho Show

I will admit I was about to write off Margaret Cho's show as a Kathy Griffin my life on the D-List knock off. But after watching this show I forgot how funny she really is. I'm going to give it a chance.

Glam God with Vivica Fox

"Put that where back there!!!"

Was RuPaul busy? Was she the only one in Hollywood available to host this show. Miss Viv is beyond the help of a stylist she needs Jesus to fix all of that.

Dating Diaries: Breaking Up Is Easy To Do: 5 Simple Rules

I sign on to Yahoo and see this. It seemed fitting to write about.


1. Ride Off Into The Sunset
In college I took a class called American Western Movies . Give me a break, ok? It was summer session. But this class did teach me something. I learned I wanted to be a cowboy. They are so cool, collect, never play their hand, never look rattled, and they are always confident.
One thing they all did was ride off as the sun set on the horizon after their business was done.
Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a girl breaks up with me, I will say:
"OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time). You take care."
My business is done.
Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won t tell her how much I miss her. I won t tell her she made a mistake. I won t call, email or text. I won t mention her to mutual friends. I ll be gone from her life.
Suddenly, it will dawn on the girl that she is not getting her money s worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it s no problem, she ll start to think:
"Wow, why isn t he shaken up over this? Did he even care that I broke up with him?"
Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:
"Did I do the right thing breaking up with him?"
That s when you know you re in business.

Ok I didn't do this. I called back only once and asked for an explanation. I made him a CD before we broke up and I sent it to him. After that all communication is done

2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect
Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can t let that show. Remember:
"Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?"
We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, b---- , yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.
This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you ve got other things going on. Of course you re miserable and there s NOTHING going on in your life, but they don t have to know it!

I think he knows how broken up I am and that I just pretend not to be. And I think a part of him gets a kick out that

3. Enact the Verb in Breaking Up
Get rid of all evidence of them. Put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I m a sucker for a strand of hair or her shampoo smell left on a pillow after a girl is over. If broken up with, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember in breaking up, think of it like a guillotine make it fast:
On a guillotine, you d rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until finally your head finally fell off.
If it s a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.

This I was able to do. He gave me a card for my birthday and he was so sweet and thoughtful. I had to get rid of it because I just thought to myself how can he feel one way and another way two weeks later. The picture of us I mailed to him. I don't know what he will do with it but I know I couldn't throw it away.

4. Don t Look Back
It s hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don t look down...but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:
" Gosh, just two weeks ago, we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close... "de
...will just make it more painful. You can t look back until it s time to look back when you re truly over it.

I'm getting better at this. That is one of the hardest things to do. But I am getting better


5. Remember You ll Get Over It
The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you ve truly gotten over someone. You re renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you d never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: " break on through to the other side! "
Well I don t know about you, but after going through all that, I m inspired to get dumped!
So, do you agree with these rules? Do you have any nightmare breakup stories? If a guy you dumped followed these rules, would you start reconsidering? Would you be annoyed if you dumped a guy and he didn t get upset?

This will be my new mantra. That and the fact that I've been through worse

To Write or Not to Write

I started this entry on Sunday but then people started coming over and I had to stop. My original train of thought has changed.


As upset as I was the last few days I was not completely writing without rational. The Internet can be a good thing and a bad thing. As I was letting go of my feelings I wondered about the next possible guy or job interviewer who decided to Google me. If a person really wanted to find this blog they would and see my rant of emotions. I thought about the possible future consequences and decided to write anyway.

I needed to write. That was the best possible release for me. I didn't call my ex 1,000 times, I didn't drive to his house and demand that he take me back. Nor did I put his picture or post anything about him on Don't Date Him Girl.

I did have two civilized conversations with him and I decided against doing that again. It is really for the best. It is very unhealthy to think constantly if we are going to get back together. I decided a few days ago that even if he does want me back than he really isn't the man for me.

Before we broke up I made him two cds with some of my favorite songs. I'm going to send him the cd with the faster songs. The slow one I will give to my soror Lori. I'm going to also send him the one picture of us. I can't bring myself to throw it away but I don't want to keep it either. I don't know what he will do with it. I doubt he will keep it but that is up to him.

I've decided to just pray about it. I will get through this. I've been through worse...

I Can't Help It

I've noticed a lot of my cd purchases are of artists that need some PR help. One cause they are really screwed up or their dead. Not all but most of them. How I get around the public image that some of my favorite artists have is by remembering them at their finest. I will get to my issues about Amy Winehouse at a later date but more now let's talk about Mr. Jackson.

Does anyone really recognize the genius of Off the Wall? I think not. I chose to remember Michael Jackson the way he was when Off the Wall came out.

These are the lyrics to what has to be my favorite track. Sampled by many but nothing comes close to the original.

"I Can't Help It"

Looking In My Mirror, Took Me By Surprise

I Can't Help But See You

Running Often Through My Mind

Helpless Like A Baby

Sensual Disguise

I Can't Help But Love You

It's Getting Better All The Time

[Chorus]

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It Even If I Could

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It, No

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It Even If I Could

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It, No

Love To Run My Fingers

Softly While You Sigh

Love Came And Possessed You

Bringing Sparkles To Your Eyes

Like A Trip To Heaven

Heaven Is The Prize

And I'm So Glad I Found You Girl

You're An Angel In Disguise

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It Even If I Could

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It, No

And I'm So Glad I Found You Girl

You're An Angel In Disguise

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It Even If I Could

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To

I Wouldn't Help It, No

[Repeat To Fade]

100 Facts About Me

Yes I know. I'm stealing this idea from Sean so sue me. I'm suffering from a disease called blogger turrets as previously stated. It will pass sooner or later. I'm going to start off at childhood and now that I think about it I was probably an annoying kid. 100 Facts about Me

1. The first time I went on a plane was a family vacation to Disney World. I was six weeks old. I'm sure we went because my brother even at the age resented my appearance into the world


2. I sucked my third and fourth fingers for much longer than I care to admit


3. When I was a kid I couldn't fall asleep unless my foot was in someone elses back


4. I wasn't allowed to wear jeans till around the 4th or 6th grade


5. I received one pink slip during my time at St. Brigid's from some red haired teacher (her name escapes me) for running in the halls. I told her I never did. I was I just wasn't fast enough


6. My best friend Dana beat me up when I was five and she was three. Dana had really long nails for a kid and started scratching me. Her mom made her cut her nails after that.


7. I had the smallest bedroom in my house but shared that room with my sister till I was six


8. My sister had really bad cramps one day I was in first grade and she wouldn't play with me so I threw out her entire bottle of Advil because I was mad. When I turned 11 I finally realized how evil that was


9. I started watching daytime soap operas on my own when I was 11 years old.


10. I was a very picky eater as a child. I wouldn't eat eggs until much later in life


11. I've always wanted a sister that was close to my age


12. I can quote several episodes of the Golden Girls


13. When I was a child I wanted to be a Cardiologist because I thought that was the only way I could afford to buy a Porsche


14. I wanted my sister to name her daughter Alyssa if she was girl and Jonathan if he had a boy. I was watching Who's the Boss when she was born


15. My two favorite islands as a child were Barbados and St. Croix
16. My dad hated the regular movie theater he always took us to the Drive In. My mom hated the Drive In. The last movie my mom took me to see was License to Drive
17. Out of the two Coreys I liked Corey Feldman better
18. I want at least three kids, two boys and one girl.
19. When those three kids grow up I want to have foster kids
20. I never saw myself married but always saw myself having kids
21. My first job was at McDonalds and on my first day at work Sean showed up while I was training.
22. I didn't take the school bus my entire senior year of high school in the morning. I made my mom or my brother pick me up
23. In middle school I've had my friends call a guy on three way and ask them if they liked me while I stayed quiet on the phone
24. I had an unhealthy crush on Eddie Furlong after Terminator 2 came out
25. Terminator 2 was the first movie that I saw in the movie theater twice
26. The last movie my dad took us to see at Drive In was Coming to America
27. Most of my favorite episodes of the Cosby Show involve Vanessa. Especially the one where she goes to Baltimore to see the wretched
28. If I have sons I love the names Malcolm and Raphael
29. If I have daughters I want to name them after typical male names e.g. Jordan
30. I don't remember really listening to hip hop until middle school
31. I wore a uniform to school everyday from the first grade to my senior year of high school
32. Out of all my high school years I think 10th grade was the best
33. When I was in high school I was a size 8 or 9 and I thought I needed to lose a few pounds
34. When I was a kid my brother and I called our house the Raphael Hotel because every summer my house was full of visitors from Trinidad
35. My first concert was to see Debbie Gibson. My dad took me when I was 10 years old. I won the tickets from Z100
36. When I was young I had really long braids. One day I went into the bathroom and cut one of my braids off
37. When I was a child I had a tendency to walk away from my mom in the store. At Great Adventures I had the entire park looking for me
38. I was in the Gospel Choir freshman year, one of my most favorite after school activities
39. I was a girl scout till 10th grade
40. I want to live alone for at least a year before I get married
41. When I was in high school I didn't believe in pre martial sex
42. There was a point in my life that I prayed every night
43. When I was a kid I took swimming, tap, ice skating and gymnastics lessons. I can't do any of those things today
44. When I was younger I had a bike I could never ride because my brother always took it
45. I wasn't allowed to leave the block by myself when I was a child
46. I almost got hit by a car trying to catch the Ice Cream man that we called Uncle Jerry
47. Now that I think about it I really don't think Uncle Jerry liked little black kids
48. When my grandfather came to visit when I was a kid we would walk to the pizzeria and he would buy me a slice a pizza and welch's grape soda. (Total cost $1)
49. I sobbed when Mufasa died in the Lion King
50. The first Broadway show I saw was Rent
51. I met my last boyfriend on match.com and am not opposed to the idea of Internet dating
52. I've wanted to be a Zeta since I was 11 years old and never wanted to be anything else
53. I never want to be in a relationship with another Greek
54. My family comes to me to help plan vacations because they know I will search for the cheapest options when it comes to travel
55. My favorite scenes from the movie Airplane is any scene that involves the black guys speaking Jive
56. For many years all I ate at TGI Fridays was the chicken fingers and french fries
57. For most of high school I thought I was going to be a clinical psychologist
58. Some people think I have one too many pairs of shoes
59. I've read every Harry Potter book and secretly think Daniel Radcliffe is kind of cute
60. I dislike Jennifer Aniston. I don't think she is pretty. I don't think she is much of an actress either. And I think Brad upgraded when he left her for Angie
61. The older I get the more cynical I feel
62. For my senior prom I dropped off the other couples in the limo (even though they paid for the whole night) picked up my brother, Sean, Andrew and my cousin Donnie. We went to Bentley's in the city. The first and only time I visited the legendary club before it closed
63. I actually like cutting the grass in the spring time the summer is a different story
64. For a long time I felt like I didn't do enough for my Dad when he was alive. I also have a long list of things to ask him that I never got the chance to
65. I have always wanted to go on vacation for a long weekend by myself
66. I was a virgin till I was 21 years old
67. I am addicted to Twizzlers
68. I made it to Orange belt in karate
69. I am better at saving money in my sock draw than I am with saving money in a bank
70. When I lived on my own I used to return bottles to reduce my grocery bill
71. There is only one person in the world that I can tolerate speaking to every day and that is Dariel
72. I've only really been dumped once since high school. Jeremy broke up with me but never told me. I found out from Denise. I wasn't really feeling him anyway. I moved on quickly
73. Even though I've only been dumped once I've had my heart broken several times
74. I'm never seen all of Ferris Bueller's Day Off
75. I enjoy skinemax and HBOZ porn
76. At last count I may have at least 65 first cousins
77. When I was a kid I didn't think my parents liked me much. There were just very stern with me and I took that the wrong way
78. I used to be able to cook collard greens very well and cook well in general
79. Even though I can cook I don't know how to make anything native to my country
80. I've only dated one guy younger than me and that lasted about a week
81. The summer before I left Albany I dated two different bus drivers (that drove the same bus #12 Washington
82. When in high school, when Kizzy would visit we would spend the entire day getting ready just to get on the bus and go to the mall
83. I was crazy for Taye Diggs and saw the Best Man three times
84. I can't wait for my hair to be natural but a little scared at the same time
85. I will spend more money on shoes and makeup but not clothes
86. I'm secretly beginning to think everyone is a racist against everyone and no one can get past stereotypes
87. I would rather sit at home with a video and popcorn then go out to the club
88. I would love to live in another city for at least one time in my life. Cities on the list are Atlanta, Ft. Lauderdale, San Diego, San Francisco and Chicago
89. I wasn't ready for college at 18 years old
90. Before I became a Zeta most of the clothes in my closet were pink or green
91. It is one of my personal goals in life is to be organized
92. I maybe addicted to acupuncture
93. When I younger I felt like I was going to die young and of something like cancer
94. My favorite family vacation was to Hawaii
95. If I could I would take a cruise at least once a year
96. I really don't want a big wedding. The smaller the cheaper the better. And I would prefer it to be on an island
97. I didn't have a mirror in my room for many years because I hated how I looked. I am glad to say now I brought a mirror and working on the way I look
98. I'm writing this blog right now but my sister says I should be cleaning my room
99. I am really good at trivia pursuit but never get the sports and science questions
100. By my 30th birthday I hope to have accomplished at least two of my personal goals

That was easier than I thought

Can you make a Ho a Housewife

Now I'm not saying that I'm a ho. I'm really not. I have gone years without till I found the right guy and even then I still feel like I'm doing something wrong.

My cousin told me not to talk to him that would just confuse me. And like always I didn't listen. I was talking to the ex last night and nothing was different. We had the exact same conversation we had last week. I don't understand why we can be friends and lovers? I know there is something more to why he broke up with me but he is just not telling me.

My uncle says guys have a tendency to break up with someone and place the blame on the other person. Joesph feels that he is blaming to make himself feel better about his shortcomings. That makes perfect sense to my head just not my heart. I blame myself most days. I think to myself about all the men I meet and they want me just not the way I want to be wanted.

A lot of my relationships don't go far because I find out early that they want a physical relationship from me but nothing more. I am grateful for the fact that I know not to accept that. I guess I should also mention that most of the guys who have treated me like that were older.

Where did my attraction for older men come from? I've talked to guys around my age and there is no spark. I spark with older guys. I'm not saying I'm looking for anyone new now I am not. I am going to try to stay single for a little while until I change the way I approach these things. This is no grand declaration or epiphany just something I feel has to be done.

I think the bitter bitch songs are done now. What are those stages of grief again? I think I'm done with the anger.

Bitter Bitch Song #2

Things are getting a little better. The feelings are really coming out. I think I shall exhale soon. I'm not so angry anymore but I am getting a kick out of my bitter bitch theme. I really should have named Breakup Song #1 Bitter Bitch Song #1 but I'm going to keep it as is. I will probably go to bed soon and get up in the morning and write some more.

Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know" should have been number 1. You don't get much angrier than that. I am not this angry nor will I ever be. We all know the only person that makes me that angry is my brother and the sad part is he has no clue how resentful I really am. And he is so oblvious to everything I don't think he would get it if I tried to explain.

Breakup Song #1

I thought about titling this post "bitter bitch" songs but that sounds less empowering. There are so many songs out there by women who are just hurt. This is one of my favorite ones.

Take The Box

Your neighbours were screaming I don't have a key for downstairs,

so I punched all the buzzers hoping he would be there

And now my head's hurting You say I always get my own way

But you were in the shower when I got there, and I don' wanted to stay, but I got nothing to say

You were so beautiful before today

And then I heard what you say…man that was ugly

The Moschino bra you bought me last Christmas Put it in the box, put it in the box

Frank's in there and I don't care Put it in the box, put it in the box

Just take it Take the box Take the box

I came home this evening and nothing felt like how it should be

I feel like writing you a letter but that is not me…you know meFeel so f*cking angry; don't wanna be reminded of you

But when I left my sh*t in your kitchen, I said goodbye to your bedroom and smiled at you

Mr False Pretence, you don't make senseI just don't know you

But you make me cry, where's my kiss goodbye?I think I love you

The Moschino bra you bought me last Christmas Put it in the box, put it in the box Frank's in there and I don't care Put it in the box, put it in the box

Now take it Take the box

Just take it, take it Take the box And now just take the box Take the box Take the box

Bloggers Terrets

I know I have been writing a lot lately. School starts in two weeks and I probably won't write in it again until the end of the year. I'm at work now and I'm just mad at myself.

I'm not in trouble but I just did something I shouldn't have done. I listened to people who think they know everything but don't.

Lesson learned.

I may come up with a thought or two later.

R.I.P Mr. Hayes

I remember when I saw this movie when I was a child I was unaware of the myth and legend that was Issace Hayes. I just remember thinking of him like an uncle. His voice was soothing and his demenour reminded me of family. Goodbye Black Moses

My Favorite Bernie Mac Scene

One of my favorite scenes from this comedian that is no longer with us. About two minutes in is Bernie's Daycare. Then he gets into the pilot of what will become the Bernie Mac show.

I was just wondering to myself

I've been looking at my past blog entries and I've noticed the same theme. Relationships or death. Talking too much is why (according to my ex) is why I am no longer in a relationship. I just thought to myself the next guy may read this blog and run the other way.

In a way I'm kind of like let them run. I don't have that many posts. If I had several posts a month on the same thing then I would think yes this bitch is crazy but I'm really not. One of my positive attributes is the fact that I've been okay single. I've never been one of these chicks that always needs a man.

I'm hurt. I'm angry and I deal with it by writing about it. Then I let it go. What is worse the crazy bitch that gets it out in her blog or the one that is at the restaurant when you are on the date with the next girl? That was never me.

Man Nailed To Chair, With Nail Gun, By Girlfriend

An emotionally disturbed Brooklyn woman was charged Tuesday with torturing her boyfriend to death by nailing him to a chair and then cutting his throat, police said. Raquel Glenn, 53, duct-taped a plastic bag over Chiwa Chan’s head and used a nail gun to fasten him to a chair in their Bensonhurst home… Source

Emotionally Disturbed? Is that really fair? I don't think so. I often wonder about the why woman do certain things. People are often quick to call women crazy but are they really. One of my cardinal rules is "You always play a role in the shit that you find yourself in." I really believe that. I refuse to believe anyone is without blame. I don't say emotionally disturbed I would love to know what he did to push her to that point.

I think my next blog is going to be about "bitter bitch" songs. The songs that women right to make them feel good about themselves when a man has wronged them. I never advocate violence but those seem to be the better ones.

**Note I did a Google search for offbeat news to get my mind off of things and look at the irony that I find this. Getting over things is hard when they follow you and trust me it has been following. I just haven't mentioned it in this blog.**

Still Lost....

So I'm doing it again. The wonderful thing about the Internet is stalking from a far. I can stalk you and you will never know I'm doing it. I was never the sit in front of the house and find out who is there kind of chick. I never call and hang up (you can't do that anyway with caller id). But I will stalk via cyber space. My latest stalking venture is viewing my ex's activity via match.com. That is where we meet. An hour after he broke up with me his profile was back up and active. I just checked it again and he was online. This hurts like hell but I continue to do it anyway. To the 1.5 people that read my blog if you can think of a better way of healing leave a comment at the end of this post (I really don't expect a thing)

I'm watching on the DVR now Larry King's dedication to Bernie Mac. I still can't believe he is gone. More than anything I think of his wife and daughter. I know how it feels to lose your parent too soon but what I don't know is the sudden loss.

Then there is Ann. I work with Ann and she had to been married for almost 30 years. Her husband decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. I can't even imagine.

I feel for the other people that I know that are in pain now. But I can't help of think of my own. I feel so stupid most days. I set up this future for us before it could possibly happen. My friends say it's not stupid to open your heart up to someone. It's a dangerous thing fellow bloggers. I would do so much better with this healing thing if I knew when it was going to be done.

I remember Dana said to me once I can only get over a guy when I meet someone new to replace him. I told her she was crazy. Not so much now.

What to do with myself but

I have serverly neglected this blog. I never meant to but I just did. I guess I am writing because I am suffering from another break up and I hate to feel this way. The worse thing about any form of loss is being familar with it. I've been very familar with loss these days and the one thing I know about it is that it takes a long time to get it out of your system. Some things never leave. When my father died my childhood friend Brian said something to me that I will take with me till I leave this earth. He told me, "You never get over loss, just one day it doesn't affect you in the same way." That sums it up completely. If you ever experienced a death of a love one or a break up that should help you.

The thing that gets to me is when I'm going to get a break. I know trouble is not common to me and I know the entire world is going through something but I still look for the break from it all. There are some days that I just want to throw myself on an altar and just say "God please take away some of my troubles" "Lord just give me some peace" And I don't know why I can't do that. I guess that is the problem with religion you have to really have faith in order for it to work. Maybe I have to be like Jonah and lose everything to have real faith. According to the Bible God took everything away from him but he still maintained.

Another failed relationship under my belt. I told him I wanted to be friends but the truth is I like to imagine that all of my exes leave this world and live in another dimension. I never wish them harm but I usually never want to see them again. Usually speaking to them makes me think in my head and heart that we still have a relationship or there is a chance that we will get back together. I know this is unhealthy behavior but I engage in it anyway. Didn't they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different reaction. When will I stop doing that.

The funny thing about all of this is I knew something wasn't right but I ignored it. I decided not to be so insecure and ignore the warning signs. I still don't know what happened. One day I had a man that was so into me he wanted me to spend weekends at his house till "Let's just be friends" He says he felt like my psychologist and he was just counseling me. I tried my best not to dump but its very hard when you have troubles in your life. Then you meet someone that you share your heart, your body and your mind with you just assume they can handle your troubles. I guess not.

I think the worse part of this all is how I used to describe him to my friends as being like my dad. My father's loss still resonates in me like it was yesterday sometimes. I still cry for him even though he was in so much pain constantly when he was dying. I hated seeing him like that but I hated that day we put him in the crematorium as well.

I know I will get over this but when is when I ask myself. We were only together a few months and since he did the breaking up he has moved on.

Maybe I'm just sharing too much. Ironically this is the reason why according my ex is why I am single again.

Job Well Done

Wow

I haven't processed it all yet to write how I really feel

I will miss these books

12:46 a.m

Who the hell is this paging me at 5:46 in the mornin crack of dawn and I'm yawin...

If you don't know who said that I'm not going to tell you.

Alas another night I am still awake. One of the things on my mind tonight is this. For all you people 25 and up. Ever wish you can have the same type of fun you had when you were in college but you don't want to be that age again, but you know that you have to be that age to engage in that sort of debauchery.

NYC JILL SCOTT FANS! Free VH1 Soul Event INVITE

Jill Scott will be performing LIVE in NYC this upcoming Monday night, 6/18 for VH1 Soul. Vh1 wants her real and dedicated fans to be a part of this special show, so this could be your chance!! If you would like FREE tickets, send an e-mail asap to woodieawards@mtvstaff.com or myspace.com/shadowholden and please include the following: -Name -Age -Phone number -Picture -Are you in the NYC area? -What is your favorite Jill Scott song?

First things first. Thank you okayplayer for always hooking a sister up. I sent the rsvp email sometime this morning around 9am. No phone call or email back. The following good be the reasons why.

1. I waited too long and the list is closed


2. They hated my selection for my favorite Jill Scott song (Long Walk or Rasoul)


3. They took one look at my picture and deleted the email. The picture above is the picture I sent. I know I'm no longer a spring chicken but I didn't think it was that bad.

I'm losing with a capital L

The last time I wrote an entry in this blog was to pay respect to my frat brothers. I'm a loser for neglecting to highlight my organizations founding. What happened to writing more?

Happy Founders Day Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Incorporated

To my new pham, Congratulations for 93 years of service and excellence and here's to many more...

Auld Lang Syne

I hijacked the lyrics from wikipedia and I would have never thought that is what they were saying. Should we forget old acquaintances? I don't sing this song anyone at the strike of the New Year. My only hope for the new year is good health for everyone.





Should old acquaintance be forgot,and never brought to mind ?Should old acquaintance be forgot,and old long time?
CHORUS:
For , my dear,
for ,old long time
we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for old long time.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !And surely I’ll buy mine !And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the hills,and pulled the daisies fine ;But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,since old long time.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,from morning sun till dine (dinner time) ;But seas between us broad have roaredsince old long time.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !And give us a hand o’ thine !And we’ll take a right good-will draught,for old long time.
CHORUS

So sue me

I'm posting just to be posting. What else am I to do at work when everyone else is home or shopping.

Dreamgirls: A review by Richard Roeper

Good, but not Supreme
'DREAMGIRLS' IS FLASHY, BRASSY, BIG -- BUT IT'S NOT THE YEAR'S BEST
December 22, 2006
BY RICHARD ROEPER Sun-Times Columnist'Dreamgirls" is a star-studded, finger-popping, whiz-bang adaptation of the Broadway hit. It's sure to have some audiences literally standing and cheering, and it's bound to garner multiple Oscar nominations.
But it doesn't deserve to win in most categories.
They're selling this as the shoo-in for best picture, and I am telling you I'm not buying. As much as I enjoyed the sheer brassiness and emotion and bigness of this production, as much as I appreciated the performances from the terrifically talented cast -- as much as I liked "Dreamgirls" -- I didn't love it. Maybe it was just a little too slick and over the top for its own good.

Not that writer-director Bill Condon (who also penned the screenplay for the equally splashy "Chicago") has merely replaced the original Broadway cast with movie stars (and one "American Idol" finalist) and filmed the musical. There's a lot of flashy camera work (maybe too much), some new numbers, a few fresh plot twists, expanded roles for a couple of characters -- but at heart, this is essentially the same story that roared onto Broadway some 25 years ago.
But remember, it's not the story of Diana Ross and the Supremes, even though it sure seems like it was "inspired by" the story of Diana Ross and the Supremes.

Three poor black girls from Detroit become R&B crossover superstars, with the help of their Barry Gordy-esque, Svengali of a manager? Check.
The original and greatly gifted lead singer of the act is relegated to the background in favor of a thinner, more conventionally attractive, more audience-friendly diva? Check.
Pushed-aside former lead singer is quickly forgotten and falls on hard times? Check.
Lead singer becomes a solo sensation and branches out to film? Check.
Not to mention the parallel versions of James Brown and the Jackson 5, among others, who exist in this "Dreamgirls" universe.

The breathtakingly gorgeous pop/R&B star Beyonce Knowles has been cast as Deena, who becomes the lead singer of the group, replacing the more vocally and more physically robust Effie (Jennifer Hudson). Even Deena acknowledges Effie's a better singer, but Deena wins the spotlight on the strength of her face and her charisma, and her willingness to take direction.
There are a couple of levels of irony at work here, given the various personnel changes, lawsuits and drama involving Beyonce's real-life group, Destiny's Child, and the fact that everybody who starred in "Dreamgirls" on Broadway has been pushed aside for younger and/or more famous movie stars. (Of course, this happens with just about every big-screen adaptation of a Broadway musical, with the exception of "Rent.")

We first see the Dreamettes at a talent show in Detroit in the early 1960s. A curiously subdued but suitably villainous Jamie Foxx is Curtis Taylor Jr., the Cadillac salesman and aspiring talent manager who recruits the girls to sing backup for the lascivious Jimmy "Thunder" Early (Eddie Murphy), a James Brown-sounding soul sensation with a voracious appetite for extramarital affairs, booze and drugs.

Foxx seems particularly uncomfortable during the musical numbers, barely moving his lips, but Murphy deserves a best supporting actor nomination for his searing performance. Whether he's crooning a ballad or getting nasty with a sexually charged number onstage, rapid-fire quipping with the ladies and his bandmates or sinking into a drug-fueled funk, Murphy is riveting, not once winking at the camera or falling back on time-honored "Eddie-isms." It's maybe the best work he's ever done.

Jimmy scores an R&B hit with a tune called "Cadillac Car," but it's quickly mayonnaised into a mainstream hit by a ridiculous Pat Boone-type who strangles every ounce of soul from it. (It's an easy laugh and a funny bit, though it was funnier when "Saturday Night Live" made the same point about white artists purloining black music in a skit with Ray Charles some 30 years ago.) Burned by the experience, the money-motivated Curtis dials down the funk on the trio, packaging their look and sound so they'll be palatable to the "American Bandstand" crowd.
The key commercial move is installing Deena as the Dreamettes' lead singer, just as Effie's romance with Curtis is becoming complicated. (The fiery Effie clutches her midsection and says she's not feeling well about a half-dozen times, concealing her pregnancy with all the subtlety of a character on "General Hospital," yet nobody catches on.) When Curtis delivers the news to Effie that she's been replaced by Denna -- not just as lead singer, but as the leading lady in his life -- her response is the full-throttle "And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.” It’s a star-making moment for Jennifer Hudson, and she brings it home with tremendous passion and heart.
Hudson’s overall work in the film is basically a two-note performance — sass and ballads — but it’s an impressive debut in a role that’s tailor-made for accolades and acceptance speeches, and she’s sure to get an Academy Award nomination, and probably a win.

As the ’60s roll on — Condon gives us snippets of Martin Luther King speeches, Detroit in flames and talk of the war in Vietnam — Deena becomes an international superstar, sporting a Diana Ross-sized Afro, taking front and center on the album covers and flirting with the role of Cleopatra in a big-budget movie championed by Curtis, who is now her husband as well as the mogul of a Motown-like label. (In one unnecessary sequence, we see a Jackson 5 clone band singing a Jackson 5-type song. Why do that if you’re claiming your story isn’t inspired by the real Motown story?)

For a film celebrating R&B and soul music, “Dreamgirls” has a surprisingly conventional Broadway sound. We get ballad after ballad after ballad, with only occasional tastes of true funk or Marvin Gaye-type “message” music, both delivered by Jimmy. Regardless of the genre, Condon favors the rapid-fire, MTV style of quick cuts and fast zooms and dizzying pans, which adds to the energetic pace but doesn’t always serve the music.

Condon also seems ambivalent about whether to make “Dreamgirls” a pure musical or a melodrama with music. Most of the time, the characters speak and act in a realistic manner on realistic sets, with the songs relegated to the stage. But every once in a while, a dialogue-driven scene will suddenly break into a mini-musical, with one of the characters launching into a song in the lobby of an office building or on the street. It might have been too much to have everybody singing all the time with no dialogue whatsoever, a la “Jesus Christ Superstar,” but as a film “Dreamgirls,” might have worked better if all the singing had been done onstage, or at least in separate scenes.

“Dreamgirls” is flashy and dazzling. It is overflowing with zest and talent. My guess is that fans of the musical will love it. But it’s a little short on heart and soul, and it is deeply conventional. In the year of “The Departed” and “The Queen” and “Babel” and “Flags of Our Fathers”/“Letters from Iwo Jima,” it’s not the best picture of the year, even though it’s probably going to win Best Picture of the Year.

ShitDamnMotherFucker

Thank you D'angelo for the song

I had all sorts of little things I wanted to write about today but most of them included pictures. I guess I will have to just write and edit the posts later. I love all this extra time I have now that I am not in school.

Ways You Know You're a Kellenberger

I was on facebook today and came across this website. I read it and laughed at the memories it brought back on they got to #31. Here is the entire list

1. The colors on this page mean something to you!
the page was done in Blue and Gold. Kellenberg colors

2. You shutter when you hear the words "My Child!"
There is significance to this I just can't remember

3. You always wanted to have a gray blazer
Of course grey blazer meant you were closer to graduation

4. When you finally got one you thought you were tough shit!
Not really

5. Is it just me, or does the Latin School hallway always smell.
Never spent that much time there

6. You always wanted to sell ads, but you never did.
Never sold one nor really cared to

7. If you're a guy, the only reason you went to Blue and Gold is because you had a friend or girlfriend performing in it.
I was in blue and gold. GTV!

8. You always hoped that the person in the tournament that you knew would win, to avoid a tear jerking scene afterwards.

9. You hated Bobby Seck (or the appropriate quarterback)!
I have no idea who this is probably after my time

10. You always wondered if Miss Tyrko was alive during the Civil War!
I was one of the few people in that school that really liked her

11. You are scared at the thought that Fr. Francis has a driver's license!
Who!?!

12. If you actually didn't do it, you've always wanted to have sex in Emmanuel!
What the hell is Emmanuel and don't you know you can get 20 demerits for having sex on campus. I never, never, never, never ever thought about sex in that school.

13. You HATE Chaminade!
Did not they had cuter boys

14. You also HATE Sacred Heart, but not as much as Chaminade!
Not really

15. You know someone who smokes pot!
Did not times a changing

16. The words elevator and blow job make you laugh!
I would love to know the story behind this

17. The troll, need I say more!
Ahh Mrs. Trentecoste. One wicked dean

18. You always thought it would be funny to release all the animals in "The Zoo!"
Animals at Kellenberg?

19. You hated it while you were there, but you can't imagine having gone to another school!
I think if I went to Holy Trinity I would have left pregnant

20. You always wondered why Mrs. Dugal drove them to school everyday!
Who is she driving to school?

21. When you found out why, you were very much enlightened!
Someone enlighten me

22. You hated coming in the side door, just because you had to walk past the guys locker room!
That wasn't so bad. Stop bitchin

23. You were ashamed during basketball season!
Very true and football season. I remember how bowling team kicked ass though

24. Mr. Buckley ROCKS!!!!!
He did

25. You always wondered what they put into the chicken in the cafeteria, but it tasted good, so who cared!
My favorite day at Kellenberg was Wednesday because it was pasta day. I can't comment on the chicken

26. You or someone you know received demerits for parking on the streets behind the school!
I know lots of people that parked there and never known anyone to get in trouble for it

27. You wonder if Miss Purcell is straight!
Ahh Miss Purcell. My senior year pre calculus teacher and homeroom teacher. I had to see her in the morning and I had her 9th period. Not the way to begin and end the day. She is a vile and evil woman who deserves Rosie O Donnell

28. You've slept during ETV announcements!
I was never that brave

29. You can still recite the 3 o'clock prayer!
What 3 o'clock prayer

30. You wanted to know why it's not called the 2:48 prayer.
See #29

31. You were friends with at least one black kid!
WHAT THEE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

32. You thought that guy in Glad was Miss Panasci!
I remember Miss Panasci but don't know what the hell Glad is

33. You know all the words to El Shaddai!
El Shaddai Adonai in Hebrew literally means I will love youuuuuuuuuu and I will have compassion on youuuuuuuuu. I will be able to sing that on my death bed.

34. You know someone who fainted at The Triumph of the Cross!
I remember this but no one fainted

35. You think it's funny to watch the janitor chase geese off the fields! (Thanks Miguel)
Sorry didn't get to enjoy that one

36. You always wondered why Bro. David did laps around the library!
I never saw Brother David running laps around the library. I know I did kiss someone in that college research room that you could go in and close the door

37. You want all the Latin Schoolers to just disappear, all they do is clog up hallway traffic!
I never wanted them to disappear. My senior year I had 5th period lunch with all of them and they were always willing to lend you money. I could do without those big ass book bags they had

38. Mrs. Von frightens you, just a little!
Don't know her

39. Although no one will admit it, you know Quiz Bowl is the most successful program at the school!
After my time

40. You've seen at least one fight break out in the cafeteria!
Yes

41. You hated getting a green slip, but when you did, you showed it off!
Never got a green slip. Never had a grey one either

42. You've cheated on at least one test! (this includes getting old exams)
Several times

43. You've used Spark Notes before!
We had cliff notes when I was in high school

44. You wish Mr. Huggard would stop using that stupid phoney accent!
Bite your tongue for saying anything bad about Mr. Huggard

45. You think that picture next to the Chapel looks like a guy giving another guy a blow job!
Umm can't recall that one

46. You think all those paintings above the lockers are just stupid!
No paintings above my locker in 97

47. Even though you tell people the football team won a championship in '99, deep down you know it was cheap! (We beat Xavier for God's sake)
After my time

48. You know at least 1 person at both Hofstra and Nassau Community!
That goes for anyone from Long Island

49. You've power locked someone's locker!
I never did it to anyone but I've seen it done. I forgot about this LMAO

50. Even though you hated it, you still go back at least once a year!
Nope haven't been back since 97

D*ck in a box

I don't care for Saturday Night Live anymore but decided to watch since Justin was hosting. It was not as funny as the last one but if they had more skits like this I would watch it all the time

This is a link to the uncensored version at the NBC website

http://video.nbc.com/player.html?dlid=51289

Youtube was not that great

Isn't it ironic

I know I've said before but I will say it again. It's frustrating having a blog to write on but can't express everything that your feeling because it can't go on line. I hate having a blog and still having to keep things to myself

Dennis Haysbert

Hello out there. I know its been a while but I am back and the woot of the day is still garbage. I was watching 24 tonight and I was looking at Dennis Haysbert and just thinking damn. Just to see him stand next to other actors he just dominates the room. Very few people can pull that off as an actor on a television show.

Welcome Baby Josiah

I just love this pic. I am back but for how long....

Welcome to the World Josiah

I have a new cousin and I'm estatic. He was born August 27th at 8:30 am. 6 pounds 6 ounces and 20 inches long. He is a perfect baby and I will do what I can to help make this crazy life good for him. I will post pictures soon.

Clarification

Now I know no one reads this blog but I posted that obituary for the person that stumbles upon it. I feel like it needs to be known that there are really good people in this world and the world lost one August 31st, 2006. I know that because I've seen the amount of people that came to say goodbye. He touched many lives and that needs to be acknowlegded.

Kip Collins 1969 - 2006

A Life Fulfilled…

Alarza Lee Collins Jr. “Kip” was born April 26, 1969 in Queens, New York. At nine months old, his mother knew her son was special when he began walking. Kip had a determination that most parents do not see in an infant. Every time he attempted to walk if he fell Kip would return to where he started and try again. Will and determination are two beliefs Kip would practice for the rest of his life.

The year was 1971 when the family moved to Hempstead, Long Island. Kip was a very precocious toddler and his abilities were apparent at an early age. At the age of 18 months Kip was able to emulate a member of his father’s band and began playing the drums. At 2 ½ years old he started riding a two wheeler and then impressed everyone when he taught his mother how to skate backwards at the age of 3. When Kip was 4 years old his father decided to make the band a family affair and allowed his son to play with him. His love for motorcycles was evident at age 5 when he began doing Eval Knieval style jumps on a bicycle. Most people live their entire lives and not show as much bravery and courage as Kip did at such a young age. At 12 years old Kip began to impress others. His parents bought him to Echo Park for swimming lessons. By the end of the summer, the instructors offered him a job as a lifeguard. Alas, he was too young for the job but quickly moved on to his next challenge.

When Kip was 14 years old his parents brought him to the Harlem School for the Arts. This program was intended to be studied for a year but not for Kip. He finished the program within three months. The teacher of the program is quoted with saying “There is nothing left to teach him, he has mastered it all.” A year later, Kip finished the piano program at the Harlem school in the same amount of time. His high school years were especially productive. His first three years of high school were spent playing with the Maria Regina High School symphony orchestra. His life long dream was realized when he transferred to Hempstead High School for his senior year. Here he played the saxophone with the school marching band. 1987 marked the end of his high school years and the beginning of a new challenge, college.

From 1987 – 1992 Kip attended Morgan State University, his mother’s Alma Mata. Kip was a self made man early in his life. At this time, when most college students are waiting anxiously for money from their parents Kip refused any financial help. During his collegiate years, Kip earned money by giving haircuts and provided rides to other Morgan State students back to their homes in New Jersey and New York. At school, his musical career flourished as he continued playing the saxophone with the Morgan State marching band. Finally in 1992 Kip completed his Bachelors Degree in Communications and Television Broadcasting. After graduation Kip gave his father his degree and told his parents, “I have finished my degree please allow me to pursue a career in music.” His father gave him his blessing and Kip went on to have a successful career in the music industry. Kip was an entrepreneur from that day forward.

In the early 90s, Kip found his first clients Keith and Hank Shockley of the Bomb Squad. 1993 he collaborated with R&B singer Aaron Hall on his album The Truth. He continued writing and producing when in 1995 he scored his first major hit with singer Monifah with I Miss You. Kip finished the century on a successful note by working with artists such as Heavy D and contributing songs to the Living Single Soundtrack.

The new millennium would prove to be even more successful for Kip. In 2000, he wrote, produced, and played instruments for Faith Evans and Jennifer Lopez. His biggest musical accomplishment came when he landed the job of creating musical score and producing the music for Carmen: A Hip Hopera. Writers for Entertainment Weekly highly favored the work and write, "...Sekani Williams and Kip Collins' clever rap lyrics bring with simile laden hip-hop wit while never avoiding the operatic tragedy's overall gravitas..."4 stars out of 5"...This well-executed project could well do for opera what Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo+Juliet' did for Shakespeare..."

Kip’s life was not only about the music he created. He lived the life that most people dream of having. There was absolutely nothing he could not do. His last project was creating a movie theater and music studio in his home. Kip had no prior plumbing, electrical or carpenter experience but mastered this task as well. Whenever complacency sets in take a lesson from the man that could do anything. Kip was very much a family man. His sister Terri waited 7 years for Kip to arrive and when he did she had a best friend in her younger brother. The friendship between the two started early in their lives. They were always very protective of each other. As children, they saved each other from a childhood punishment or two. Kip was a very loving and affectionate man. He would show you love just because…

Isn't it ironic

I updated my profile the day before Kip was killed. I changed it because a very good co worker of mine was recently diagnosed with leukemia. He is one year older than my father but that is still very young to me. I want to live by what I wrote but I'm still in a state of shock. There are some people that I care about that are completely devastated and I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I know no matter how awful I felt when my father died they feel 1000x worse because it was a son and a brother. This was a man full of life taken from this world too soon. I want to stay committed to what I wrote but I am shook. Shaken to my core and somewhat paralyzed by it.

Motorcycle crash kills man in Uniondale

BY JOHN VALENTI
Newsday Staff Writer

August 31, 2006, 1:50 PM EDT


A man riding a 2000 Yamaha motorcycle southbound on Uniondale Avenue was killed this morning when his bike collided with a car backing out of a driveway near Mathilda Place, Nassau County Police said.

According to a release from the Nassau County Police Department, the motorcyclist is being identified as Alarza Collins, 37, of Hempstead. Collins was pronounced dead after being taken to Nassau University Medical Center.

The accident, which occured at 7:50 a.m. in Uniondale, is the latest in a rash of serious -- and, often fatal -- motorcycle crashes within the last week on Long Island. Just last week, a motorcycle passenger was killed in a crash on Route 112 in Patchogue, while another motorcyclist was killed in a crash in Coram on Sunday.

Two other motorcyclists were seriously injured in crashes in Mineola and North Long Beach since last Tuesday.

The accident this morning occured while Mona Pierre, 56, was backing out of his driveway on Uniondale Avenue in her 2006 Toyota Camry -- and was struck by the unidentified motorcyclist. A passenger on the Yamaha, identified by police as Moses Yorell of Freeport, suffered non-life-threatening injuries when he was thrown from the bike. He was taken to Nassau University Medical Center where he is listed in stable condition.

Pierre was taken to Mercy Medical Center with minor injuries, police said.

No charges were filed against Pierre.

Police impounded both vehicles for safety tests.

Things I Planned on Writing about this week

It's funny how one event changes your perspective on things. There were a few things I wanted to write about but probably won't get to

Birth of Baby Josiah
Different World Reunion
Getting a Life
Post graduate plans

Now all of those things (except the birth of my new cousin) seem trivial

Can someone please explain to me...

How one minute you are celebrating new life and then the next your mourning a life taken too soon?

Moratorium revisited

I was looking at some previous posts and I saw my moratorium on my single status. I wonder if the previous post counts as me bringing up relationship stuff. I guess not. I’m looking but I’m not touching anyone. I hate to say it but frankly there has been no one to touch. School starts is in a week so this won’t matter anymore. I won’t have time for anything but school. Lack of a relationship is a minor sacrifice when talking about my education. At one point in my life I never thought I would have a college degree. Now that I know that I will have a degree that is all that matters to me.

My new crush

I'm sitting here and I'm watching RENT and I am so crushing on Jesse L Martin. Let us get the obvious out of the way

1. RENT the motion picture is a shitty movie. Plays like this should be made 20 years after it leaves Broadway. At that point a whole new generation can get into it and appreciate it.

2. Rosario Dawson has no business being in this movie. As per wikipedia the original Mimi Daphne Rubin-Vega was unable to be in the movie because she was pregnant. They should have waited for her to pop the kid out and given her a week to drop the baby fat.

3. Tracie Thoms . Her wikipedia page she says she has been trying out for a role in the Broadway production but has been unsuccessful. From watching the movie I can see why they didn’t want her in the play. Her voice is very nice but she doesn’t scream Joanne. I hate to say this but they needed a big woman to play that part.

4. Jesse L. Martin plays a gay man in this film. I know your wondering out there in blog world why would I crush on a man playing a gay character? I was ignoring that fact for my crush purposes.

But back to Mr. Martin he is a sexy man. I anxiously await his performance in Sexual Healing . If you haven’t watched BETJ then you need to start. If your cable company does not provide it then you need to call them ASAP. BETJ plays mini concerts and on Saturday they played a whole hour of live Marvin Gaye. My love for old music is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I love the music but then I am reminded of the fact that most of the greats are gone. I will only be able to experience Marvin through BETJ.



But Jesse, why are there not more men like him walking around.

Have you ever...

I just looked at my last post and I realize I have not followed up on my last one to post a few questions from my game. I know I never did and the game at the shower went very well. Baby is still not here but I expect baby Josiah will be making an appearance soon. If you ever read this blog Josiah I hope you know you were already loved.

Blah!!!

The strange thing about blogs is this. You want to type how you really feel but is that wise? You never really know your audience with these things. I am sorry that is has been so long since I've written anything and it bothers me that I cannot say anything substantial. I have a lot going on in my life but it has to stay quiet. There has to be an outlet somewhere.