I just love this pic. I am back but for how long....
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Welcome to the World Josiah
I have a new cousin and I'm estatic. He was born August 27th at 8:30 am. 6 pounds 6 ounces and 20 inches long. He is a perfect baby and I will do what I can to help make this crazy life good for him. I will post pictures soon.
Clarification
Now I know no one reads this blog but I posted that obituary for the person that stumbles upon it. I feel like it needs to be known that there are really good people in this world and the world lost one August 31st, 2006. I know that because I've seen the amount of people that came to say goodbye. He touched many lives and that needs to be acknowlegded.
Kip Collins 1969 - 2006
A Life Fulfilled…
Alarza Lee Collins Jr. “Kip” was born April 26, 1969 in Queens, New York. At nine months old, his mother knew her son was special when he began walking. Kip had a determination that most parents do not see in an infant. Every time he attempted to walk if he fell Kip would return to where he started and try again. Will and determination are two beliefs Kip would practice for the rest of his life.
The year was 1971 when the family moved to Hempstead, Long Island. Kip was a very precocious toddler and his abilities were apparent at an early age. At the age of 18 months Kip was able to emulate a member of his father’s band and began playing the drums. At 2 ½ years old he started riding a two wheeler and then impressed everyone when he taught his mother how to skate backwards at the age of 3. When Kip was 4 years old his father decided to make the band a family affair and allowed his son to play with him. His love for motorcycles was evident at age 5 when he began doing Eval Knieval style jumps on a bicycle. Most people live their entire lives and not show as much bravery and courage as Kip did at such a young age. At 12 years old Kip began to impress others. His parents bought him to Echo Park for swimming lessons. By the end of the summer, the instructors offered him a job as a lifeguard. Alas, he was too young for the job but quickly moved on to his next challenge.
When Kip was 14 years old his parents brought him to the Harlem School for the Arts. This program was intended to be studied for a year but not for Kip. He finished the program within three months. The teacher of the program is quoted with saying “There is nothing left to teach him, he has mastered it all.” A year later, Kip finished the piano program at the Harlem school in the same amount of time. His high school years were especially productive. His first three years of high school were spent playing with the Maria Regina High School symphony orchestra. His life long dream was realized when he transferred to Hempstead High School for his senior year. Here he played the saxophone with the school marching band. 1987 marked the end of his high school years and the beginning of a new challenge, college.
From 1987 – 1992 Kip attended Morgan State University, his mother’s Alma Mata. Kip was a self made man early in his life. At this time, when most college students are waiting anxiously for money from their parents Kip refused any financial help. During his collegiate years, Kip earned money by giving haircuts and provided rides to other Morgan State students back to their homes in New Jersey and New York. At school, his musical career flourished as he continued playing the saxophone with the Morgan State marching band. Finally in 1992 Kip completed his Bachelors Degree in Communications and Television Broadcasting. After graduation Kip gave his father his degree and told his parents, “I have finished my degree please allow me to pursue a career in music.” His father gave him his blessing and Kip went on to have a successful career in the music industry. Kip was an entrepreneur from that day forward.
In the early 90s, Kip found his first clients Keith and Hank Shockley of the Bomb Squad. 1993 he collaborated with R&B singer Aaron Hall on his album The Truth. He continued writing and producing when in 1995 he scored his first major hit with singer Monifah with I Miss You. Kip finished the century on a successful note by working with artists such as Heavy D and contributing songs to the Living Single Soundtrack.
The new millennium would prove to be even more successful for Kip. In 2000, he wrote, produced, and played instruments for Faith Evans and Jennifer Lopez. His biggest musical accomplishment came when he landed the job of creating musical score and producing the music for Carmen: A Hip Hopera. Writers for Entertainment Weekly highly favored the work and write, "...Sekani Williams and Kip Collins' clever rap lyrics bring with simile laden hip-hop wit while never avoiding the operatic tragedy's overall gravitas..."4 stars out of 5"...This well-executed project could well do for opera what Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo+Juliet' did for Shakespeare..."
Kip’s life was not only about the music he created. He lived the life that most people dream of having. There was absolutely nothing he could not do. His last project was creating a movie theater and music studio in his home. Kip had no prior plumbing, electrical or carpenter experience but mastered this task as well. Whenever complacency sets in take a lesson from the man that could do anything. Kip was very much a family man. His sister Terri waited 7 years for Kip to arrive and when he did she had a best friend in her younger brother. The friendship between the two started early in their lives. They were always very protective of each other. As children, they saved each other from a childhood punishment or two. Kip was a very loving and affectionate man. He would show you love just because…
Alarza Lee Collins Jr. “Kip” was born April 26, 1969 in Queens, New York. At nine months old, his mother knew her son was special when he began walking. Kip had a determination that most parents do not see in an infant. Every time he attempted to walk if he fell Kip would return to where he started and try again. Will and determination are two beliefs Kip would practice for the rest of his life.
The year was 1971 when the family moved to Hempstead, Long Island. Kip was a very precocious toddler and his abilities were apparent at an early age. At the age of 18 months Kip was able to emulate a member of his father’s band and began playing the drums. At 2 ½ years old he started riding a two wheeler and then impressed everyone when he taught his mother how to skate backwards at the age of 3. When Kip was 4 years old his father decided to make the band a family affair and allowed his son to play with him. His love for motorcycles was evident at age 5 when he began doing Eval Knieval style jumps on a bicycle. Most people live their entire lives and not show as much bravery and courage as Kip did at such a young age. At 12 years old Kip began to impress others. His parents bought him to Echo Park for swimming lessons. By the end of the summer, the instructors offered him a job as a lifeguard. Alas, he was too young for the job but quickly moved on to his next challenge.
When Kip was 14 years old his parents brought him to the Harlem School for the Arts. This program was intended to be studied for a year but not for Kip. He finished the program within three months. The teacher of the program is quoted with saying “There is nothing left to teach him, he has mastered it all.” A year later, Kip finished the piano program at the Harlem school in the same amount of time. His high school years were especially productive. His first three years of high school were spent playing with the Maria Regina High School symphony orchestra. His life long dream was realized when he transferred to Hempstead High School for his senior year. Here he played the saxophone with the school marching band. 1987 marked the end of his high school years and the beginning of a new challenge, college.
From 1987 – 1992 Kip attended Morgan State University, his mother’s Alma Mata. Kip was a self made man early in his life. At this time, when most college students are waiting anxiously for money from their parents Kip refused any financial help. During his collegiate years, Kip earned money by giving haircuts and provided rides to other Morgan State students back to their homes in New Jersey and New York. At school, his musical career flourished as he continued playing the saxophone with the Morgan State marching band. Finally in 1992 Kip completed his Bachelors Degree in Communications and Television Broadcasting. After graduation Kip gave his father his degree and told his parents, “I have finished my degree please allow me to pursue a career in music.” His father gave him his blessing and Kip went on to have a successful career in the music industry. Kip was an entrepreneur from that day forward.
In the early 90s, Kip found his first clients Keith and Hank Shockley of the Bomb Squad. 1993 he collaborated with R&B singer Aaron Hall on his album The Truth. He continued writing and producing when in 1995 he scored his first major hit with singer Monifah with I Miss You. Kip finished the century on a successful note by working with artists such as Heavy D and contributing songs to the Living Single Soundtrack.
The new millennium would prove to be even more successful for Kip. In 2000, he wrote, produced, and played instruments for Faith Evans and Jennifer Lopez. His biggest musical accomplishment came when he landed the job of creating musical score and producing the music for Carmen: A Hip Hopera. Writers for Entertainment Weekly highly favored the work and write, "...Sekani Williams and Kip Collins' clever rap lyrics bring with simile laden hip-hop wit while never avoiding the operatic tragedy's overall gravitas..."4 stars out of 5"...This well-executed project could well do for opera what Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo+Juliet' did for Shakespeare..."
Kip’s life was not only about the music he created. He lived the life that most people dream of having. There was absolutely nothing he could not do. His last project was creating a movie theater and music studio in his home. Kip had no prior plumbing, electrical or carpenter experience but mastered this task as well. Whenever complacency sets in take a lesson from the man that could do anything. Kip was very much a family man. His sister Terri waited 7 years for Kip to arrive and when he did she had a best friend in her younger brother. The friendship between the two started early in their lives. They were always very protective of each other. As children, they saved each other from a childhood punishment or two. Kip was a very loving and affectionate man. He would show you love just because…
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Isn't it ironic
I updated my profile the day before Kip was killed. I changed it because a very good co worker of mine was recently diagnosed with leukemia. He is one year older than my father but that is still very young to me. I want to live by what I wrote but I'm still in a state of shock. There are some people that I care about that are completely devastated and I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I know no matter how awful I felt when my father died they feel 1000x worse because it was a son and a brother. This was a man full of life taken from this world too soon. I want to stay committed to what I wrote but I am shook. Shaken to my core and somewhat paralyzed by it.
Motorcycle crash kills man in Uniondale
BY JOHN VALENTI
Newsday Staff Writer
August 31, 2006, 1:50 PM EDT
A man riding a 2000 Yamaha motorcycle southbound on Uniondale Avenue was killed this morning when his bike collided with a car backing out of a driveway near Mathilda Place, Nassau County Police said.
According to a release from the Nassau County Police Department, the motorcyclist is being identified as Alarza Collins, 37, of Hempstead. Collins was pronounced dead after being taken to Nassau University Medical Center.
The accident, which occured at 7:50 a.m. in Uniondale, is the latest in a rash of serious -- and, often fatal -- motorcycle crashes within the last week on Long Island. Just last week, a motorcycle passenger was killed in a crash on Route 112 in Patchogue, while another motorcyclist was killed in a crash in Coram on Sunday.
Two other motorcyclists were seriously injured in crashes in Mineola and North Long Beach since last Tuesday.
The accident this morning occured while Mona Pierre, 56, was backing out of his driveway on Uniondale Avenue in her 2006 Toyota Camry -- and was struck by the unidentified motorcyclist. A passenger on the Yamaha, identified by police as Moses Yorell of Freeport, suffered non-life-threatening injuries when he was thrown from the bike. He was taken to Nassau University Medical Center where he is listed in stable condition.
Pierre was taken to Mercy Medical Center with minor injuries, police said.
No charges were filed against Pierre.
Police impounded both vehicles for safety tests.
Newsday Staff Writer
August 31, 2006, 1:50 PM EDT
A man riding a 2000 Yamaha motorcycle southbound on Uniondale Avenue was killed this morning when his bike collided with a car backing out of a driveway near Mathilda Place, Nassau County Police said.
According to a release from the Nassau County Police Department, the motorcyclist is being identified as Alarza Collins, 37, of Hempstead. Collins was pronounced dead after being taken to Nassau University Medical Center.
The accident, which occured at 7:50 a.m. in Uniondale, is the latest in a rash of serious -- and, often fatal -- motorcycle crashes within the last week on Long Island. Just last week, a motorcycle passenger was killed in a crash on Route 112 in Patchogue, while another motorcyclist was killed in a crash in Coram on Sunday.
Two other motorcyclists were seriously injured in crashes in Mineola and North Long Beach since last Tuesday.
The accident this morning occured while Mona Pierre, 56, was backing out of his driveway on Uniondale Avenue in her 2006 Toyota Camry -- and was struck by the unidentified motorcyclist. A passenger on the Yamaha, identified by police as Moses Yorell of Freeport, suffered non-life-threatening injuries when he was thrown from the bike. He was taken to Nassau University Medical Center where he is listed in stable condition.
Pierre was taken to Mercy Medical Center with minor injuries, police said.
No charges were filed against Pierre.
Police impounded both vehicles for safety tests.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Things I Planned on Writing about this week
It's funny how one event changes your perspective on things. There were a few things I wanted to write about but probably won't get to
Birth of Baby Josiah
Different World Reunion
Getting a Life
Post graduate plans
Now all of those things (except the birth of my new cousin) seem trivial
Birth of Baby Josiah
Different World Reunion
Getting a Life
Post graduate plans
Now all of those things (except the birth of my new cousin) seem trivial
Can someone please explain to me...
How one minute you are celebrating new life and then the next your mourning a life taken too soon?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Moratorium revisited
I was looking at some previous posts and I saw my moratorium on my single status. I wonder if the previous post counts as me bringing up relationship stuff. I guess not. I’m looking but I’m not touching anyone. I hate to say it but frankly there has been no one to touch. School starts is in a week so this won’t matter anymore. I won’t have time for anything but school. Lack of a relationship is a minor sacrifice when talking about my education. At one point in my life I never thought I would have a college degree. Now that I know that I will have a degree that is all that matters to me.
My new crush
I'm sitting here and I'm watching RENT and I am so crushing on Jesse L Martin. Let us get the obvious out of the way
1. RENT the motion picture is a shitty movie. Plays like this should be made 20 years after it leaves Broadway. At that point a whole new generation can get into it and appreciate it.
2. Rosario Dawson has no business being in this movie. As per wikipedia the original Mimi Daphne Rubin-Vega was unable to be in the movie because she was pregnant. They should have waited for her to pop the kid out and given her a week to drop the baby fat.
3. Tracie Thoms . Her wikipedia page she says she has been trying out for a role in the Broadway production but has been unsuccessful. From watching the movie I can see why they didn’t want her in the play. Her voice is very nice but she doesn’t scream Joanne. I hate to say this but they needed a big woman to play that part.
4. Jesse L. Martin plays a gay man in this film. I know your wondering out there in blog world why would I crush on a man playing a gay character? I was ignoring that fact for my crush purposes.
But back to Mr. Martin he is a sexy man. I anxiously await his performance in Sexual Healing . If you haven’t watched BETJ then you need to start. If your cable company does not provide it then you need to call them ASAP. BETJ plays mini concerts and on Saturday they played a whole hour of live Marvin Gaye. My love for old music is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I love the music but then I am reminded of the fact that most of the greats are gone. I will only be able to experience Marvin through BETJ.
But Jesse, why are there not more men like him walking around.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Have you ever...
I just looked at my last post and I realize I have not followed up on my last one to post a few questions from my game. I know I never did and the game at the shower went very well. Baby is still not here but I expect baby Josiah will be making an appearance soon. If you ever read this blog Josiah I hope you know you were already loved.
Blah!!!
The strange thing about blogs is this. You want to type how you really feel but is that wise? You never really know your audience with these things. I am sorry that is has been so long since I've written anything and it bothers me that I cannot say anything substantial. I have a lot going on in my life but it has to stay quiet. There has to be an outlet somewhere.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Happy Birthday to Me
Another year, another birthday, another day without my father. My original plan was to be out celebrating my birthday with my friends but I am at home. Again putting someone else in front of my own. It was my decision to have my aunt's shower the weekend of my birthday but I don't regret it. There is just too much going on for the rest of the summmer. This party needs to happen now. I really don't mean to bitch. I know for a fact that things could be worse. I've already experienced worse than this. One of the baby shower games that we are playing is "Have You Ever". When creating that game I realized I haven't done a whole lot with my life and that is what makes birthday's sad for me. I will post up some of the questions from the game when I am more awake. I'm only up right now waiting for the woot of the day. It should not be taken as a list of things to do before I die it will be what it says, a list of things I've never done.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Bitch Please
Woman asks 911 to send 'cutie pie' deputy
Fri Jul 14, 4:05 PM ET
A woman who called 911 to get "the cutest cop I've seen" sent back to her home got a date all right — a court date.
The same sheriff's deputy arrested her on charges of misuse of the emergency dispatch system.
Washington County Sheriff's Sgt. David Thompson told KGW-TV of Portland it all started with a noise complaint called in last month by neighbors of Lorna Jeanne Dudash. The deputy sent to check on the complaint knocked on her door, then left.
Thompson said Dudash then called 911, asking that the "cutie pie" deputy return.
"He's the cutest cop I've seen in a long time. I just want to know his name," Dudash told the dispatcher. "Heck, it doesn't come very often a good man comes to your doorstep."
After listening to some more, followed by a bit of silence, the dispatcher asked again why Dudash needed the deputy to return.
"Honey, I'm just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911," she said.
"I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"
The deputy returned, verified that there was no emergency and arrested her for misusing the 911 system, an offense punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.
Thompson said Thursday it was the first case he knew of in which someone called the emergency line for such a personal reason.
"That's taking up valuable time from dispatchers who could be taking true emergency calls," he said.
Family, Let us pray
That I never get so desperate for a man that I call the 911 operator. Or marry a gay man
Fri Jul 14, 4:05 PM ET
A woman who called 911 to get "the cutest cop I've seen" sent back to her home got a date all right — a court date.
The same sheriff's deputy arrested her on charges of misuse of the emergency dispatch system.
Washington County Sheriff's Sgt. David Thompson told KGW-TV of Portland it all started with a noise complaint called in last month by neighbors of Lorna Jeanne Dudash. The deputy sent to check on the complaint knocked on her door, then left.
Thompson said Dudash then called 911, asking that the "cutie pie" deputy return.
"He's the cutest cop I've seen in a long time. I just want to know his name," Dudash told the dispatcher. "Heck, it doesn't come very often a good man comes to your doorstep."
After listening to some more, followed by a bit of silence, the dispatcher asked again why Dudash needed the deputy to return.
"Honey, I'm just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911," she said.
"I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"
The deputy returned, verified that there was no emergency and arrested her for misusing the 911 system, an offense punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.
Thompson said Thursday it was the first case he knew of in which someone called the emergency line for such a personal reason.
"That's taking up valuable time from dispatchers who could be taking true emergency calls," he said.
Family, Let us pray
That I never get so desperate for a man that I call the 911 operator. Or marry a gay man
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
You in da hood now baby (C) Wendy Williams
Yeah yeah I know I'm late. This whole Star Jones thing is pretty much old news by now but I'm just getting to it now so sue me.
I've been saying this for a while and I knew all of the events from the last few weeks were inevitable. Star I hate to tell you this but you made a common mistake that most black celebrities make. You forgot you were black. Have we learned nothing from Chris Rock? Was he really being funny when he said "When your white the skies the limit and when your black the limit is the sky." No Star you can't do what most white celebrities and endorse products to get freebies for your wedding. No Star you can't use the system like most people do. You would think she would have learned in so many years as a black professional that the rules are different for black people. I think deep down she just forgot and you know what she is human. Well she remembers now. Mrs. Jones Reynolds karma is a bitch. I never met you personally but since you have been on The View I have yet to hear anything good about you. I've only heard how you discard and ignore people you consider to be beneath you. Karma is a bitch. I hope she gets back on TV and I hope its doing something she is good at like I don't know the law.
Don’t take my sarcasm seriously. I wish the best for Miss Starlet. Everyday I feel I see an important woman for example Hillary Rodham Clinton or Oprah sit on the receiving end of a whole lot of bullshit. I wonder what kind of chance an average woman like me has in a male dominated world. Look how the extraordinary ones get treated. When things like this happen to famous woman I wonder if a man would have received the same treatment. Ken Starr was convicted of stealing millions of dollars from everyday people but still had the money to rent a vacation home in Aspen. People yell at Star for wedding freebies but Ken Starr gets a pass. This is the world we live in and I’ve accepted that. By accepting that, it does not mean I am not going to try to succeed and be as fabulous as the women I previously mentioned I’m just going to try to remember the rules.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
We Still Wear the Mask by W. Jelani Cobb
This article was posted on okayplayer.com a few days ago. I enjoyed reading this and I think everyone should take a long at Mr. Cobb's other essays on his website
We Still Wear the Mask by W. Jelani Cobb
We could have known that it would come to this way back in 1896. That was the year that Paul Lawrence Dunbar dropped a jewel for the ages, telling the world that "we wear the mask that grins and lies." The poet's point was that beneath the camouflage of subservient smiles, black folks of the Jim Crow era were hiding a powder keg of other emotions, waiting patiently for the chance to detonate. The thing is, Dunbar never got the chance to spit bars with 50 Cent or throw in aguest collabo on a Mobb Deep album. If he had, then he would've known that grins and lies were only half the story. These days, camouflage is the new black. Glance at hip hop for less than a second and it becomes clear that the music operates on a single hope: that if the world mistakes kindness for weakness it can also be led to confuse meanness with strength. That principle explains why there is a permanent reverence for the thug within the music, it is why there is a murderer's grit and a jailhouse tat peering back at you from the cover of damn near any CD you picked up in the last five years. But what hip hop can't tell you, the secret that it would just as soon take to its deathbed is that it this urban bravado is a guise, a mask, a head-fake to shake the reality of fear and powerlessness in America. Hip hop will never admit that our assorted thugs and gangstas are not the unbowed symbol of resistance to marginalization, but the most complacent and passive products of it. We wear the mask that scowls and lies.
You could see which way the wind was blowing way in the early 90s when Dr. Dre was being ripped off by white Ruthless Records CEO Jerry Heller, and nonetheless got his street cred up by punching and kicking Dee Barnes, a black woman journalist, down a flight of stairs. In thislight, hip hop's obsessive misogyny makes a whole lot more sense. It is literally the logic of domestic violence. A man is abused by a larger society, but there are consequences to striking back at thesource of his problems. So he transfers his anger to an acceptable outlet – the women and children in his own household, and by extension, all the black people who constitute his own community. Nothing better illustrates that point than the recent Oprah Debacle. Prior to last month, if you'd heard that a group of rappers had teamed up to attack a billionaire media mogul you would think that hip hop had finally produced a moment of black pride on par with 1968 Olympics. But nay, just more blackface. In the past two months, artists as diverse as Ludacris, 50 Cent and Ice Cube have attacked Oprah Winfrey for her alleged disdain for hip hop. It's is a sad but entirely predictable irony that the oneinstance in which hip hop's reigning alpha males summon the testicular fortitude to challenge someone more powerful and wealthy than they are, they choose to go after a black woman. The whole set up was an echo of some bad history. Two centuries ago, professional boxing got its start in America with white slaveholders who pitted their largest slaves against those from competingplantations. Tom Molineaux. First black heavyweight champion came up through the ranks breaking the bones of other slaves and making white men rich. After he'd broken enough of them, he was given his freedom. The underlying ethic was clear: an attack on the system that has madea slave of you will cost you your life, but an attack on another black person might just be the road to emancipation. The basis for this latest bout of black-on-black pugilism was Oprah's purported stiff-arming of Ludacris during an appearance on her show with the cast of the film Crash. Ludacris later complained that the host had made an issue of lyrics she saw as misogynistic. Cube jumped into the act whining that Oprah has had all manner of racist flotsam on her show but has never invited him to appear – proof, in his mind, that she has an irrational contempt for hip hop. Then 50 threw in his two cents with a claim that Oprah's criticism of hip hop was an attempt to win points with her largely white, middle class audience.
All told, she was charged her with that most heinous of hip hop's felonies: hateration. But before we press charges, isn't 50 the same character who openly expressed his love for GW Bush as a fellow "gangsta" and demanded that the black community stop criticizing how he handled Hurricane Katrina? Compare that to multiple millions that Oprah has disseminated to our communities (including building homes for the Katrina families, financing HIV prevention in South Africa and that $5 million she dropped on Morehouse College alone) and the point becomes even more obvious.In spite of – or, actually, as a result of -- his impeccable gangsta credentials, 50 basically curtsied before a President who stayed on vacation for three days while black bodies floated down the NewOrleans streets. No wonder it took a middle-class preppie with an African name and no criminal record to man up and tell the whole world that "George Bush don't care about black folks." No wonder David Banner – a rapper who is just a few credits short of a Master's Degree in social work -- spearheaded hip hop's Katrina relief concerts, not any of his thug counterparts who are eternally shouting out the hoods they allegedly love. The 50 Cent, whose music is a panoramic vision on black-on-black homicide, and who went after Ja Rule with the vengeance of a dictator killing off a hated ethnic minority did everything but tap dance when Reebok told him to dismantle his porn production company or lose his lucrative sneaker endorsement deal. But why single out 50? Hip hop at-large was conspicuously silent when Bush press secretary Tony Snow (a rapper's alias if ever there was one) assaulted hip hop in terms way more inflammatory than Oprah's mild request: Take a look at the idiotic culture of hip-hop and whaddya have? You have people glorifying failure. You have a bunch of gold-toothed hot dogs become millionaires by running around and telling everybody else that they oughtta be miserable failures and if they're really lucky maybe they can get gunned down in a diner sometime, like Eminem's old running mate.(We're still awaiting an outraged response from the thug community for that one.) Rush Limbaugh has blamed hip hop for everything short of the Avian flu but I can't recall a single hip hop artist who has gone after him lyrically, publicly or physically. Are we seeing a theme yet?It's worth noting that Ludacris did not devote as much energy to Bill O'Reilly – who attacked his music on his show regularly and caused him to lose a multi-million dollar Pepsi endorsement – as he did to criticizing Oprah who simply stated that she was tired of hip hop's misogyny. Luda was content to diss O'Reilly on his next record and go about his business. Anyone who heard the interview that Oprah gave on Power 105.1 in New York knew she was speaking for a whole generation of hip hop heads when she said that she loved the music, but she wanted the artists to exercise some responsibility. But this response is not really about Oprah, or ultimately about hip hop, either. It is about black men once again choosing a black woman as the safest target for their aggression even one will a billion dollars is still fair game. Of all their claims, the charge that Oprah sold out to win points with her white audience is the most tragically laughable. The truth is that her audience's white middle-class kids exert waaay more influence over 50 and Cube than their parents do over Oprah. I long ago tired of Cube, a thirty-something successful director, entrepreneur and married father of three children records about his aged recollections of a thug's life. The gangsta theme went cliché eons ago, but Cube, 50 anda whole array of their musical peers lack either the freedom or the vision to talk about any broader element of our lives. The reality is that the major labels and their majority white fan base will notaccept anything else from them. And there we have it again: more masks, more lies. It is not coincidental that hip hop has made Nigga the most common noun in popular music but you have almost never heard any certified thug utter the word cracker, ofay, honky, peckerwood, wop, dago, guinea, kike or any other white-oriented epithet. The reason for that is simple: Massa ain't havin' it. The word fag, once a commonplace derisive in the music has all but disappeared from hip hop's vocabulary. (Yes, these thugs fear the backlash from white gays too.) And bitch is still allowed with the common understanding that the termis referring to black women. The point is this: debasement of black communities is entirely acceptable – required even – by hip hop's predominantly white consumer base.We have lived enough history to know better by now – to know that gangsta is Sonny Liston, the thug icon of his era, threatening to kill Cassius Clay but completely impotent when it came to demanding that his white handlers stop ripping him off. Gangsta is the black men at the Parchman Farm prison in Mississippi who beat the civil rights workers Fannie Lou Hamer and Annelle Ponder into bloody unconsciousness because their white wardens told them to. Gangsta is Michael Ervin, NFL bad boy remaining conspicuously mute on Monday Night Football while Limbaugh dissed Donovan McNabb as an Affirmative Action athlete. Gangsta is Bigger Thomas, scared, confused andmystified by the ways of the white world. Surely our ancestors' struggles were about more than creatingmillionaires who could care less about us and tolerating their violent disrespect out of a hunger for black success stories. Surely we are not so desperate for heroes that we uphold cardboard icons becausethey throw good glare. There's more required than that. The weight of history demands more than simply this. Surely we understand that this clash is not about hip hop or even self-promotion; it is about acting out an age-old script. Taking the Tom Molineaux route. Spitting in the wind and breaking black bones. Hoping to become free.
Or, at least a well-paid slave.
We Still Wear the Mask by W. Jelani Cobb
We could have known that it would come to this way back in 1896. That was the year that Paul Lawrence Dunbar dropped a jewel for the ages, telling the world that "we wear the mask that grins and lies." The poet's point was that beneath the camouflage of subservient smiles, black folks of the Jim Crow era were hiding a powder keg of other emotions, waiting patiently for the chance to detonate. The thing is, Dunbar never got the chance to spit bars with 50 Cent or throw in aguest collabo on a Mobb Deep album. If he had, then he would've known that grins and lies were only half the story. These days, camouflage is the new black. Glance at hip hop for less than a second and it becomes clear that the music operates on a single hope: that if the world mistakes kindness for weakness it can also be led to confuse meanness with strength. That principle explains why there is a permanent reverence for the thug within the music, it is why there is a murderer's grit and a jailhouse tat peering back at you from the cover of damn near any CD you picked up in the last five years. But what hip hop can't tell you, the secret that it would just as soon take to its deathbed is that it this urban bravado is a guise, a mask, a head-fake to shake the reality of fear and powerlessness in America. Hip hop will never admit that our assorted thugs and gangstas are not the unbowed symbol of resistance to marginalization, but the most complacent and passive products of it. We wear the mask that scowls and lies.
You could see which way the wind was blowing way in the early 90s when Dr. Dre was being ripped off by white Ruthless Records CEO Jerry Heller, and nonetheless got his street cred up by punching and kicking Dee Barnes, a black woman journalist, down a flight of stairs. In thislight, hip hop's obsessive misogyny makes a whole lot more sense. It is literally the logic of domestic violence. A man is abused by a larger society, but there are consequences to striking back at thesource of his problems. So he transfers his anger to an acceptable outlet – the women and children in his own household, and by extension, all the black people who constitute his own community. Nothing better illustrates that point than the recent Oprah Debacle. Prior to last month, if you'd heard that a group of rappers had teamed up to attack a billionaire media mogul you would think that hip hop had finally produced a moment of black pride on par with 1968 Olympics. But nay, just more blackface. In the past two months, artists as diverse as Ludacris, 50 Cent and Ice Cube have attacked Oprah Winfrey for her alleged disdain for hip hop. It's is a sad but entirely predictable irony that the oneinstance in which hip hop's reigning alpha males summon the testicular fortitude to challenge someone more powerful and wealthy than they are, they choose to go after a black woman. The whole set up was an echo of some bad history. Two centuries ago, professional boxing got its start in America with white slaveholders who pitted their largest slaves against those from competingplantations. Tom Molineaux. First black heavyweight champion came up through the ranks breaking the bones of other slaves and making white men rich. After he'd broken enough of them, he was given his freedom. The underlying ethic was clear: an attack on the system that has madea slave of you will cost you your life, but an attack on another black person might just be the road to emancipation. The basis for this latest bout of black-on-black pugilism was Oprah's purported stiff-arming of Ludacris during an appearance on her show with the cast of the film Crash. Ludacris later complained that the host had made an issue of lyrics she saw as misogynistic. Cube jumped into the act whining that Oprah has had all manner of racist flotsam on her show but has never invited him to appear – proof, in his mind, that she has an irrational contempt for hip hop. Then 50 threw in his two cents with a claim that Oprah's criticism of hip hop was an attempt to win points with her largely white, middle class audience.
All told, she was charged her with that most heinous of hip hop's felonies: hateration. But before we press charges, isn't 50 the same character who openly expressed his love for GW Bush as a fellow "gangsta" and demanded that the black community stop criticizing how he handled Hurricane Katrina? Compare that to multiple millions that Oprah has disseminated to our communities (including building homes for the Katrina families, financing HIV prevention in South Africa and that $5 million she dropped on Morehouse College alone) and the point becomes even more obvious.In spite of – or, actually, as a result of -- his impeccable gangsta credentials, 50 basically curtsied before a President who stayed on vacation for three days while black bodies floated down the NewOrleans streets. No wonder it took a middle-class preppie with an African name and no criminal record to man up and tell the whole world that "George Bush don't care about black folks." No wonder David Banner – a rapper who is just a few credits short of a Master's Degree in social work -- spearheaded hip hop's Katrina relief concerts, not any of his thug counterparts who are eternally shouting out the hoods they allegedly love. The 50 Cent, whose music is a panoramic vision on black-on-black homicide, and who went after Ja Rule with the vengeance of a dictator killing off a hated ethnic minority did everything but tap dance when Reebok told him to dismantle his porn production company or lose his lucrative sneaker endorsement deal. But why single out 50? Hip hop at-large was conspicuously silent when Bush press secretary Tony Snow (a rapper's alias if ever there was one) assaulted hip hop in terms way more inflammatory than Oprah's mild request: Take a look at the idiotic culture of hip-hop and whaddya have? You have people glorifying failure. You have a bunch of gold-toothed hot dogs become millionaires by running around and telling everybody else that they oughtta be miserable failures and if they're really lucky maybe they can get gunned down in a diner sometime, like Eminem's old running mate.(We're still awaiting an outraged response from the thug community for that one.) Rush Limbaugh has blamed hip hop for everything short of the Avian flu but I can't recall a single hip hop artist who has gone after him lyrically, publicly or physically. Are we seeing a theme yet?It's worth noting that Ludacris did not devote as much energy to Bill O'Reilly – who attacked his music on his show regularly and caused him to lose a multi-million dollar Pepsi endorsement – as he did to criticizing Oprah who simply stated that she was tired of hip hop's misogyny. Luda was content to diss O'Reilly on his next record and go about his business. Anyone who heard the interview that Oprah gave on Power 105.1 in New York knew she was speaking for a whole generation of hip hop heads when she said that she loved the music, but she wanted the artists to exercise some responsibility. But this response is not really about Oprah, or ultimately about hip hop, either. It is about black men once again choosing a black woman as the safest target for their aggression even one will a billion dollars is still fair game. Of all their claims, the charge that Oprah sold out to win points with her white audience is the most tragically laughable. The truth is that her audience's white middle-class kids exert waaay more influence over 50 and Cube than their parents do over Oprah. I long ago tired of Cube, a thirty-something successful director, entrepreneur and married father of three children records about his aged recollections of a thug's life. The gangsta theme went cliché eons ago, but Cube, 50 anda whole array of their musical peers lack either the freedom or the vision to talk about any broader element of our lives. The reality is that the major labels and their majority white fan base will notaccept anything else from them. And there we have it again: more masks, more lies. It is not coincidental that hip hop has made Nigga the most common noun in popular music but you have almost never heard any certified thug utter the word cracker, ofay, honky, peckerwood, wop, dago, guinea, kike or any other white-oriented epithet. The reason for that is simple: Massa ain't havin' it. The word fag, once a commonplace derisive in the music has all but disappeared from hip hop's vocabulary. (Yes, these thugs fear the backlash from white gays too.) And bitch is still allowed with the common understanding that the termis referring to black women. The point is this: debasement of black communities is entirely acceptable – required even – by hip hop's predominantly white consumer base.We have lived enough history to know better by now – to know that gangsta is Sonny Liston, the thug icon of his era, threatening to kill Cassius Clay but completely impotent when it came to demanding that his white handlers stop ripping him off. Gangsta is the black men at the Parchman Farm prison in Mississippi who beat the civil rights workers Fannie Lou Hamer and Annelle Ponder into bloody unconsciousness because their white wardens told them to. Gangsta is Michael Ervin, NFL bad boy remaining conspicuously mute on Monday Night Football while Limbaugh dissed Donovan McNabb as an Affirmative Action athlete. Gangsta is Bigger Thomas, scared, confused andmystified by the ways of the white world. Surely our ancestors' struggles were about more than creatingmillionaires who could care less about us and tolerating their violent disrespect out of a hunger for black success stories. Surely we are not so desperate for heroes that we uphold cardboard icons becausethey throw good glare. There's more required than that. The weight of history demands more than simply this. Surely we understand that this clash is not about hip hop or even self-promotion; it is about acting out an age-old script. Taking the Tom Molineaux route. Spitting in the wind and breaking black bones. Hoping to become free.
Or, at least a well-paid slave.
Friday, July 07, 2006
An Oldie....
I posted this on my myspace blog March 24, 2006. Its relavent I promise. That is the reason for the repost. It's relavance will be explained later.
Yesterday, my school hosted a seminar called "Equity Pay for Women". This forum was a part of women's history month and featured Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. I've left the program at home and I wish I can acknowlegde the other speakers on the panel but I cannot recall the names. All I have to say is there were all excellent and very imformative. The morning started off very nice and uneventful and at about 11:00 they breaked for a short intermission. After the intermission began a panel discussioin with Senator Clinton as the moderator. As soon as the Senator came on stage I noticed people standing up in the audience. As the panel discussion continued more people stood with thier backs to the Senator and on the back of their t shirts said "Troops out Now". Then one of the protestors started shouting things during the disscussion. After the panel ended I walked out of the Stahler Center and this group had coffins drapped with American flags on the ground. In addition people were laying on the ground staging a "die-in".
Now I'm all for protesting, freedom of speech and peoples right to demonstration. But why Senator Clinton? These are for the most part (not entirely) college educated students. I'm sure in their time at Stony Brook they learned that a senator from New York does not have the power to withdraw US troops from Iraq. But they still protest against her. Now I am aware of the fact that Senator Clinton voted for the resolution that sent troops into Iraq but many senators voted for that war. I wondered "Does Charles Schumar get the same reception Hillary does?"
Yesterday I realized again why Hillary Rodham Clinton is one of my heroes. First she was a working mother and First Lady of Arkansas. In 1980 when President Clinton became governor, I'm sure that did not sit well in the conservative south. I'm sure you had to battle people during that time. When she became First Lady of the United States more people hated her for wanting to work and help her husband improve this counrty. When her husband had an affair she stood by him despite the betrayl. Because of her decision she faced oppostion from feminists who didn't agree with the "Stand by you Man" mantra. Then Kenneth Starr and his team came later and tried to crucify her and her husband for his affair. Now her husband's indisrection was on public record. When that was over and she decided she wanted a political identity besides being First Lady she was atttacked again for wanting to represent New York in the Senate. And now she is attacked for a war she has no control over but she still does it. She still gets up everyday and fights a fight most women don't have it in them to do. She deals with small minded men on a regular basis and....
She is still standing, still strong
Thank you Senator Clinton for dealing with bullshit so I don't have to.
Yesterday, my school hosted a seminar called "Equity Pay for Women". This forum was a part of women's history month and featured Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. I've left the program at home and I wish I can acknowlegde the other speakers on the panel but I cannot recall the names. All I have to say is there were all excellent and very imformative. The morning started off very nice and uneventful and at about 11:00 they breaked for a short intermission. After the intermission began a panel discussioin with Senator Clinton as the moderator. As soon as the Senator came on stage I noticed people standing up in the audience. As the panel discussion continued more people stood with thier backs to the Senator and on the back of their t shirts said "Troops out Now". Then one of the protestors started shouting things during the disscussion. After the panel ended I walked out of the Stahler Center and this group had coffins drapped with American flags on the ground. In addition people were laying on the ground staging a "die-in".
Now I'm all for protesting, freedom of speech and peoples right to demonstration. But why Senator Clinton? These are for the most part (not entirely) college educated students. I'm sure in their time at Stony Brook they learned that a senator from New York does not have the power to withdraw US troops from Iraq. But they still protest against her. Now I am aware of the fact that Senator Clinton voted for the resolution that sent troops into Iraq but many senators voted for that war. I wondered "Does Charles Schumar get the same reception Hillary does?"
Yesterday I realized again why Hillary Rodham Clinton is one of my heroes. First she was a working mother and First Lady of Arkansas. In 1980 when President Clinton became governor, I'm sure that did not sit well in the conservative south. I'm sure you had to battle people during that time. When she became First Lady of the United States more people hated her for wanting to work and help her husband improve this counrty. When her husband had an affair she stood by him despite the betrayl. Because of her decision she faced oppostion from feminists who didn't agree with the "Stand by you Man" mantra. Then Kenneth Starr and his team came later and tried to crucify her and her husband for his affair. Now her husband's indisrection was on public record. When that was over and she decided she wanted a political identity besides being First Lady she was atttacked again for wanting to represent New York in the Senate. And now she is attacked for a war she has no control over but she still does it. She still gets up everyday and fights a fight most women don't have it in them to do. She deals with small minded men on a regular basis and....
She is still standing, still strong
Thank you Senator Clinton for dealing with bullshit so I don't have to.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Moratorium
Last week I made a decision to cease all blogs and discussions about my single status. One of my pet peeves in life is its repetition. I hate the fact that most of the time life is truly like the movie Groundhog Day. It bothers me that life is the same shit different day. I don’t like it when other people complain about the same things over and over then why should I. Today is July 5th and in 17 days I will be 27 years old. In 27th years on this planet I had to have learned something. The other day I was telling someone one of the good things about getting older is you don’t worry about things as much. Except for a few crabby ones how many stressed out senior citizens do you know? When I think of my grandmother I don’t ever remember her sitting me down complaining about her lack of a social life. I remember being 17 and sitting on the phone with my friends crying because I don’t have a boyfriend. Thankfully the crying has stopped but, the sitting on the phone complaining to my friends because I am not in a relationship still occasionally happens.
In September, my neighbors’ nephew is getting married. The betrothed has a little brother that is my age. Ever since my neighbor moved into her house she has tried to get me together with this boy we will call Jack. I have no interest at all in Jack. I had none then and I have none now. The funny thing is I don’t think Jack had any interest in me either but his mom and my neighbor tried and tried again. Well my mother ran into Jack and his girlfriend at a my pre wedding function and Jack was in attendance with his girlfriend. Whew, I’m so glad the pressure is off me to date this man. This pre wedding function was last month and my mother has managed to mention Jack and his girlfriend to me several times. Now through several conversations I’ve kept silent. I don’t know what my mother thinks about my relationship status. In all of my eligible dating years I have never brought a man home to meet my mother. The reason for that is my mother. I was always afraid of two very different reactions; either she would be really happy or very upset. My mother has yet to grasp the concept of I am an adult and whom ever I chose to spend my time with is my choice. If she were upset about my choice in a man she would be very annoying to me about and we would fight constantly. I can hear her now telling me to stop seeing him. Or she would be really happy about it and if me and said man were to breakup she would interfere so much to try to get us back together. I get angry at my mother for treating me like a child when I know in some ways I still play the role. Now I am pretty independent but I guess somewhere in the back of mind I am still looking for her approval and that is why she has never met any of the men I’ve dated.
In 27th years something has to change. There are more important things going on in my life right now that I have decided to focus on.
In September, my neighbors’ nephew is getting married. The betrothed has a little brother that is my age. Ever since my neighbor moved into her house she has tried to get me together with this boy we will call Jack. I have no interest at all in Jack. I had none then and I have none now. The funny thing is I don’t think Jack had any interest in me either but his mom and my neighbor tried and tried again. Well my mother ran into Jack and his girlfriend at a my pre wedding function and Jack was in attendance with his girlfriend. Whew, I’m so glad the pressure is off me to date this man. This pre wedding function was last month and my mother has managed to mention Jack and his girlfriend to me several times. Now through several conversations I’ve kept silent. I don’t know what my mother thinks about my relationship status. In all of my eligible dating years I have never brought a man home to meet my mother. The reason for that is my mother. I was always afraid of two very different reactions; either she would be really happy or very upset. My mother has yet to grasp the concept of I am an adult and whom ever I chose to spend my time with is my choice. If she were upset about my choice in a man she would be very annoying to me about and we would fight constantly. I can hear her now telling me to stop seeing him. Or she would be really happy about it and if me and said man were to breakup she would interfere so much to try to get us back together. I get angry at my mother for treating me like a child when I know in some ways I still play the role. Now I am pretty independent but I guess somewhere in the back of mind I am still looking for her approval and that is why she has never met any of the men I’ve dated.
In 27th years something has to change. There are more important things going on in my life right now that I have decided to focus on.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Drinking
Let's go back to 1997 when I first moved out of my house for college. In high school I never drank alcohol with my friends. Okay that one time but it was prom and they were wine coolers. Now I am not tooting my own horn saying I was better than most kids my age. I was pretty good but I am not saying I was perfect. Growing up alcohol was not taboo in my house. We were taught from a young age that alcohol is a social activity for adults. If we wanted a glass of wine or champagne we were given it. I think young people drink because there parents hide liquor from them and they want to do the forbidden. Now don't get it twisted I'm not advocating underage drinking. Some parents know their kids and know they have addictive personalities and that is why they don't give them alcohol. I am going off on a tangent now back to 1997. I was on my own for the first time in my life and like most 18 year olds I went to bars to have my drink of choice the Amaretto Sour
Now Amaretto Sour was my drink of choice. When I wanted to mix things up a bit I drank Vodka and Cranberry, Sex on the Beach or Rum and Coke. I don't want to know how many of those things I imbibed that year. I think the summer I turned 19 I graduated to malt liquor. I'm still apologizing to my liver for the amount of Ole 'E' I drank that summer. At 20 I had a very short affair with Long Island Ice Teas and at 21 I became a beer drinker. Beer was cheap and very easy to buy. My current love is Johnny Walker Black Label Scotch. I actually remember when that began. It was New Year's Eve going into the 1999 and of course I had a cold. My damned tonsils acting up at the worst time. Lucky for me majority of my friends and myself were all under 21 and limited options on what we could do so we all partied at my house. That New Year's Eve was fun for so many different reasons but that story deserves its own post. Anyhoo, my throat was hurting me and I had no voice and none of the medicines I was taking were helping. So of course I go to the next best thing what was available and what is good. Scotch. Dana suggested adding lemon and honey to the drink and you know what it worked. My voice was fine after that and when it went away again I just drank more scotch.
I drafted this post a long time ago and believe me there was a relevant story but it has passed so I post it anyway.
Now Amaretto Sour was my drink of choice. When I wanted to mix things up a bit I drank Vodka and Cranberry, Sex on the Beach or Rum and Coke. I don't want to know how many of those things I imbibed that year. I think the summer I turned 19 I graduated to malt liquor. I'm still apologizing to my liver for the amount of Ole 'E' I drank that summer. At 20 I had a very short affair with Long Island Ice Teas and at 21 I became a beer drinker. Beer was cheap and very easy to buy. My current love is Johnny Walker Black Label Scotch. I actually remember when that began. It was New Year's Eve going into the 1999 and of course I had a cold. My damned tonsils acting up at the worst time. Lucky for me majority of my friends and myself were all under 21 and limited options on what we could do so we all partied at my house. That New Year's Eve was fun for so many different reasons but that story deserves its own post. Anyhoo, my throat was hurting me and I had no voice and none of the medicines I was taking were helping. So of course I go to the next best thing what was available and what is good. Scotch. Dana suggested adding lemon and honey to the drink and you know what it worked. My voice was fine after that and when it went away again I just drank more scotch.
I drafted this post a long time ago and believe me there was a relevant story but it has passed so I post it anyway.
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