Interview with the ....

Dating: It has occurred to me very recently that I do not have the energy to try to convince men of how awesome I am.

I cannot take credit for that quote I saw it on twitter. I am way too tired to fully delve into the subject but it is how I feel. Blog family it is 2010 and I'm tired. Tired of trying to lose the weight, tired of trying to graduate, tired of trying to get my paper right and tired of the never ending search for happiness in a relationship and family.

My father always used to say to me "we cannot be a jack of all trades and master of nothing". There are so many areas of my life I want to address and do well at. The other areas its hard for me to put on a back burner until I fix the most important. I need to graduate and get healthy.

In addition to writing which is always good for my soul, I'm going to pick up my Bible a little more.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up - Galatians 6:9

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Listening to: Hillsong Music Australia - Eagles Wings
via FoxyTunes

Memories

Like the Corner of My Mind....

I was given the task to write down all of the memories of my childhood or the events that happened to me that have stuck with me. I can't write about the painful things on my blog but I will write about other random tidbits and lately I've been trying to start as early as possible.

I remember being a kid don't recall how old and watching the movie Commando for the first time. I recall Rae Dawn Chung saying in the movie "I can't believe this macho bullshit!" I told my Mom she laughed but for some reason Uncle Keith and my sister were not too happy I could quote this line.

I remember my brother playing track and field in the basement with my Uncle Rawle. I remember the summer day Eric's friend Lance came over and played with us. He was always so tall and beat us in the jumping contests that irritated me.

I'm going to end here because what I want to write I can't because the memories are too painful and even though I've been given the task I'm not really ready to deal with the issues at hand.

I mean everyone has issues...

Dating Chronicles Part 2

This entry is waayyyyy over due. I went out on date #2 last Friday and did not write about it. No funny name for this one. Even though him and I didn't click he is still a nice guy. Just no spark with me. The sad part is I have yet to move on and I may not spark with anyone that does not have a goatee.

I guess I'm not really in the mood to talk about my date itself but I will talk about my issues. He sleeps every night at 9pm. Kind of goofy and chubby not stocky. I know my body isn't fly yet either but damn. For a person that goes to the gym almost every day what the hell is he eating? I know this post is a bunch of rambling but in mi vida loca so much has happened since this date its hard to write about now.

For the meek shall inherit the earth...

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land.
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I remember being a young girl in Catholic elementary school and we were required to know the 8 Beatitudes. We were many a times tested on them. Since the tragedy that occurred in Haiti this past week I've been thinking about them even more. We here from deeply religious people that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but one must ask; how much more is Haiti to endure.

When I first heard a massive earthquake hit the small island of Haiti, my first thought went to Sandrine. I knew she was home but for a split second my heart broke at the thought that if this occurred a week ago I could have lost a woman who has become my sister. God must have a plan for it should be known that I would not function well without her.

My thoughts are still with her. Never in the 6 years I've known her have I heard that kind of pain.

I know I am all about the photos. But this time I could not post them. Well for one they are all over the Internet. I cannot in good faith post those pictures because those are not the images I want on my blog of Haiti.

I watched the news today. Good Morning America as I always do. There was a story about a white girl that lost her leg. Another story about a white couple that is adopting an orphaned Haitian child. When tragedy strikes white people as individuals are great. White people as a group (e.g Bush Administration during Katrina) not so much. I thought to myself today "Why do I feel soooo bad?" Is it because I see people in pain that I love or is it because I don't feel well because I cannot take away a loved ones pain?" I think that is why we are bombarded with hundreds of stories of white people doing these selfless things. It is there way of wiping the slate clean.

Haiti was the first independent country in the Western Hemisphere. How does a country go from the first to gain independence to a third world nation. I do not blame the people of Haiti I blame their management. The government has failed this country for many years. My hope for Haiti my prayer is that this tragedy is the opportunity to rebuild and be the country it could be. I don't post photos of Haiti today because I chose to see it for what it could be and not for what it was.


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Listening to: Donnie McClurkin - We Fall Down

The Dating Chronicles

2010 begins my foray into dating and it is starting on interesting note. I say that because I am dating. I am looking and keeping myself open to the possibilities. But after all the nonsense Mr. G has put me through every time I hear that bbm ding a part of me hopes its him. He has been treating me a indirectly like a real dick even though I haven't been around to receive it. It's almost worse that he does it behind my back. Mr. G has painted a portrait of me that is just not true, so instead of waiting for him to change I've decided to move on. Even though I may not entirely be ready.

Well I had date #1 today. I had issue from before we met. I didn't like the offer of a back rub. I didn't care for the baby and sweetheart nonsense as well but I kept it moving. For 31 cross eyed seemed a little immature but what guy is not. We were supposed to meet last night and I'm glad he cancelled. I didn't have much time today because it was Nora's shower but I couldn't keep him at bay for much longer. He seemed very anxious to meet me. Peep the timeline.

2:11 -
Me: I'm leaving the Source mall now. Let's meet at the Starbucks closet to you.
Cross eyed: Ok I'm already dressed I will see you in a few minutes.

Now the Source mall is a few minutes further from this Starbucks than from where he lives. Literally up the block.

2:28
Me: Where is this fool
Me on the bbm: Line sisters have a blind date but about to leave. This fool has me waiting.
LS #3: Give him a few more minutes
Me: He knows I have a baby shower to attend
Me: I'm just sending you guys this bbm in case I end up missing
Me: I'm out

2:37
Me: Oh hi (as I'm walking out the door)
Cross eyed: Oh hi (hug and kiss) excuse about making me wait
Me: Who the hell is he looking at

2:40 - 2:53
useless jaber
Me: I should go
Cross eyed: Ok nice meeting you
Me: I will call you when I get home from the shower
Cross eyed: ok cool

and I'm out....

Now I know what the funk doctor Spock is going to say end it, but in these situations I just like to cease contact. I'm going to catch up with her on Thursday so we shall get her opinion then. It's a good thing I'm seeing her before date #2

A Wise Man Once Said

when a woman meets a man, she hopes he'll change
when a man meets a woman, he hopes she'll stay the same

they usually both end up being disappointed

Now is not the Time for Grand Declarations

Just letting the thoughts stream....

For the record, I must note that I'm watching He's Just Not Into You for the second time in two days. I wonder how many times I will have to watch it for the message to sink in.

Grand declarations or Resolutions...
I made one but to my line sisters in the privacy of our bbm chat. I know they won't hold it against me if my declaration doesn't come true.

Writing is good for the soul. Maybe I should invest in that wireless router so I can use the internet as I wish.

Will probably edit later. I must shower so I can be with my sisters.

What I will think about are my positive changes that 2009 has brought